"Her"

Freedom

"I wish I could just walk away from everything. Leave one day and just focus on what I promised you."

No. If you do what you plan, you will never be satisfied, thinking of this place, what you left behind.

"I don't think I would. "

Think of what you intend to do. Going off into the wilderness, the wild place will take many months of planning, money, and of course you would have to survive. 'She' continued before the young woman could say anything. I have no douts about your strength, Seshet, you have done what many believed to be impossible, both on paper and in life. But there would be great suffering for you, in your heart, and for your body.

"I know. Everything you have said, I have thought. I just need to get away. What's the point of staying? Nothing I say matters. No one hears my words. I'm no good to no one but myself." The young woman allowed the skinny, reluctant tears to come. "I feel as if I'm a caged thing with glorious feathers, and no matter how many times I shine, I'll never be bright enough."

Iqnoring them doesn't work.

"No. I try so hard not to take up space, not to make anyone angry. But it's never good enough. There's only so many hours I can get out before I have to go back home."

So your solution is to not go back at all.

"All I want is peace. I want to be able to sit by myself for fifteen minutes without being interrupted. I want a room and a bed to really belong to me, I want the choice of giving up my bed to a guest, or other unfortunate, not being told it's going to happen one night while I'm in the middle of agood dream. I don't want to be confused because no one tells me anything, and I have to flounder around to get the deatails."

You want a lot of things. You'll be miserable in the wild place. You'll be homeless. You won't have a solid place to sleep.

"But I won't be here."

You'll never truely be happy there. You'll never have what you've always wanted:praise.

"I'd sacrifice it gladly for peace. To hear my own mind without so many other voices, screaming, laughing idiocies."

You'd come back after three years, worried, guilty that you'd left them all to rot. And then you'd be right back where you'd started. Maybe, famous, which is what you're aiming for anyway.

"I just want to be able to finish something on my own
without anyone's interference. this way you get what you want, I get what I need."

You'd do all that for peace? You'd starve, freeze in the winter, bake in the summer...

"...Just so I could be left alone. I would. I wish I could just push eveything out of my way and be done with it! I wish everyone would get away from me!"

So did I once. I spent many years running, not caring where my next drink of water was coming from. But inner troubles stick close to the skin like leeches. They feed off of you until you cut them at their source. You may be a hundred miles from any human and still not be free.

"I know it. I know it! But what can I do?"

The job, for the money, to go to the college, to transfer to college, to be on my own, to finish the task.

"Oh. A song to keep my mind off of it all? I don't think that's going to work."

Then it isn't. You have to believe in your talents and the plan you made. If you can't do that, then what you've done so far has meant nothing.

"Fine. But it should go like this: The family for the home to freshen up for the job, for the money for college, to transfer to another college, to be on my own, to finish the task. And if I get that other job, it'll be like you said before."

Well, at least you're thinking. If you do get that other job, you'll be on your own. You won't have to go to the wilderness.

"I never thought of that!" The young woman shook her head. "And all I have to do is act to get it."

'She' smiled. Now you're catching on.