Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Thinking...

Low as a worm digging into the earth. Just longing once again to return to old habits. Sometimes I want moer than anything to pick up that silver once more and turn it crimson but I know I can't becasue if I do I'll be letting Harri down again... And I really don't want to do that...

I don't exactly know if I want to... But I'm wondering if death, though the cowards way, would be more welcoming than this hell that I'm living. Wondering all the time wether it would be better....

A gun? That's too over down though, isn't it? It's kind of corny that way... Over dosing would make me look like some kind of druggie and that is one thing I'm not... Jumping off a bridge? A cliff? That simply w0uoldn't be good enough, it would be to messy and public... So what's left? A knife through the heart would be dramatic but... Every time that I think of doing it... I fail... Dismally...