trapped in a soap opera

snakes, alligators, and sex--Pt II-present thoughts

Ok so fast forward to now. Bobby and I have now had this lil thing going for several months. Yeah funny how my friends with benefits relationships last longer than the real ones. Guess thats cause if we annoy the shit out of each other we just dont talk for a week or so. Cant do that with a boyfriend. Anyway the weird thing is that it is almost everything about a relationship with no chance to ever actually be one. He sometimes annoys the shit out of me, hates kids, loves dogs, hates the thought of marriage and relationships. Me--I'm not that crazy about marriage or relationships (though sometimes i tend to do differently then i think), have a kid, and am not that crazy about dogs. I mean imagine if we did get together--can you imagine me trying to convince my ex or a judge that its safe for my 6 yr old to come visit????

anyway, as weird and as random as he is...he surprises me all the time. Just when i think i have him pinned down--he does something that surprises me. Hell even wheni have him mostly figured out i still cant make sense of it. This is completely NOT a relationship. We are in no way dating or involved or whatever...but sometimes its hard to remember that. Its weird to have a fuck buddy that i can just go to his house and cuddle. Some of the little things--the little kisses for no reason. Thats what makes it hard to remember that he doesnt love me and never will--because he does those things that can say otherwise. Just have to keep my head on straight though cause its a good thing i got goin on here dont want to screw it up.

As far as the stuff that keeps surprising me--he comes across as a goofy, crazy person with a devil may care attitude...but at the same time he likes to cuddle just as much as i do. I was over there one day, and i had always seen his guitars around--but he actually had one out and was playing--hes a fucking AMAZING guitarist. Can play just about anything--and im a pretty harsh music critic. Course its good that he only did that once cause the quickest way to my heart is music... Another thing--turns out he is also good at writing code and computer programs--just found that out the other day. He can build and fabricate stuff--he recently designed a prototype for his snake cages and wrote a program to control them by computer. He can also type better than most secretaries i know. Im starting to realize that there is a lot more to him, and he is a lot smarter than i ever gave him credit for.

Well i guess some of the other things ive been thinking about are my favorite moments with him...then i better shut up before i really start sounding like im falling hard--cause im really not.
#1 The Sex--its GREAT, consisantly some of the better sex ive had. The funny thing is i used to have this theory that the was you kissed gave some clue as to how sex would be but had to change it with him. For some reason we CANNOT figure out how to kiss--at least on the lips LOL. Its just the most awkward thing--never had that problem with anyone. BUT everything else is really really good so thats ok.
#2 The Sweet Moments--of course ive already talked about the little kisses and stuff...but its things like last night that i remember. Of course i was sick--and i couldnt sleep. Everytime i woke him up tossign and turning hed ask if i was ok and if there was anything he could do. Hell ive had boyfriends that didnt do that.
#3 He Listens--I'm not talking about random day to day shit--but he listens to what i say and then keeps to it. Especially when i was still getting drunk alot. One night i told him that no matter what i didnt want to have sex--had just had a bad episode with tymm the night before), later i got drunk and kept trying to have sex with him--and dont remember it--he actually finally just held me still until i passed out--told me that "no i didnt want to do that"

The other weird thing about him is that he remembers EVERYTHING I say--whether he actually cares or not LOL. used ot drive me nuts cause hed repeat something that i had said sometime before-like he was saying it--it would take me a min of thinking "wow ive never met anyone that thought that too" before id remember that he was just repeating me to fuck with me.

All in all im happy where i am in my non relationship. I mean hell--i get a friend, cuddling, great sex, and if i want to go on a date tomorrow theres no problem--i can even tell him about it if i want. pretty good deal if you ask me