Angela's Musings

Tax Day

For me today is tax day and I am stressed. Although I don't seem to fit the stereotypical tax day stressed person, I am a little frazzled. I'm waiting for turbo tax to download some stuff and I'm not very patient.

It's been a rough couple of days. I found out yesterday that a friend's 16 year old daughter is pregnant. I am in the position that I am unable to have children in any normal way and this type of news seems to hit me hard. I just have a day of feeling sorry for myself. Once I am done with this feeling things are good again. I cried most of the evening yesterday and threatened again today as I drove down to see my cousin and her new baby.

Daphne's baby is a snuggler and is beautiful. I got to hold her all day and it was wonderful. The funny thing is I am ok holding other people's babies. I don't get that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach from wanting to have one. It is just nice seeing someone who really wanted a child to have one. The baby's name is Avery (girl) and she has the longest fingers I've ever seen on a baby. She was born a little early and has had a difficult couple of weeks but she is doing well and is growing.

Apparently the tears aren't completely gone but I will be ok. Things aren't settled enough in my life for a baby anyway. If it is meant to happen, in any way, then it will. I just need to have faith.