Monkeys

Here I go again on my own

Hey all. Sorry I've been kinda lax in posting. It has been a long week. I'm getting ready to go home for the weekend....I NEED to go home for longer than that, but a weekend will do if it is all I can have.

This past weekend, I holed myself up on my couch and watched home movies for about 5 hours. It was good for the heart. Until I came to mine and Joshua's wedding tape. I watched most of it....until I got to his vows. He lied you know. "I promise to always love you, always. And I will support you and encourage you...." Bull crap is what that is. He lied, and that makes me puke. People ask how long "Forever" and I guess we now know that it is 2 1/2 months. Isn't that great? The mystery is solved! Do I win a prize? Because if I do....I want him back.

I don't want to feel lonely anymore, and I want to feel worth something again. When is that going to happen?? I have to take what I can get, and unfortunatly, all I can get is him calling when he needs something, or being preoccupied and nasty when I call him. And yet I take it.

Because I am pathetic.