Ins and Outs of my Life

Thinking about the past

I am indeed a lucky or rather blessed person. You see I have had a beautiful life and I know I will continue to do so. I read about such horrible childhoods and talk to people with a lot of problems.
In fact today I have been rather reflective. It is the little memories that I love to remember. And the joys of today I love to treasure.
Today I went home. I mean to my home where my parents live and I grew up at. I love the country and my boys and I love to go out there and I love to show them all the farm and my stomping grounds. I shudder to think one day it may not be in the family. I pray I am old and dead before that ever happens. As this is the one piece of earth that is mine. It is my identity. It is strange but true. I look at the fields and the trees and the dirt and I think of when I last walked in those woods or over in that pasture. Or when I climbed that tree last. I miss those carefree days. I am trying to relive them some with my boys. In fact they went camping for a couple of days with my hubby but it is just too cold for me to camp in the winter. MY aches can not bear it and I remember I am getting old.
I thought today of how I used to play a lot out of doors. We played in barns, in mud holes, in gardens,, oh such the life.
My parents blessed me and still do to this day. I am sadden as I see them age now. Both have fought fatal illnesses... hopefully to overcome the latest. My mom has heart failure. But yet I do not see them as old. They are young and vibrant in my mind's eye. I hate when my mother tells me she is getting old.
My days sometimes find me sad but then I must think glad. For happy should be my days as I have been blessed and I will continue to live happy moments. When my hormones want to take over and depression lifts its ugly head --- I will snare back>> I work with too many grumpy people and I will not be one of them. I stay happy. I work at it but I stay happy mostly because my life is good and that is how it should be so. Why be grumpy when I am blessed so....