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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/318251-Dont-Blame-MeBlame-The-Weasels
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #464720
You supply the reading. I'll supply the writing.
#318251 added December 17, 2004 at 12:49am
Restrictions: None
Don't Blame Me...Blame The Weasels
"Stop it!" I commanded.

"Stop what sir?" The cashier replied, her eyes suddenly lifting up from the scanner to meet mine.

"Ooooh she's good." I thought. "She's one cool customer...pretending like she doesn't know."

"Stop fantasizing about me!" I demanded.

"Pardon me sir? Did you say fantasizing?"

She has a comeback for everything. Damn she's clever.

"Just because you're drop dead gorgeous with possibly the most captivating bedroom eyes I've ever seen, doesn't entitle you to have your naughty way with me in those kinky daydreams of yours." I said sternly.

"Excuse me?" Her eyes widened as she feigned innocence.

"Look. You're doing it again! Right now as we speak." I was shocked at her boldness.

"Doing what?" She said batting her big Bambi eyes in mock disbelief.

"Stop mentally undressing me. I'm not your personal, fantasy, sex toy. Your's to use and abuse in that head of your's, whenever the urge strikes you. I want to be treated as a normal customer...not as your virtual, sex slave."














Oh oh. What the Hell was I doing just then? You don't pop into my journal to read about what I get up to in the grocery store. I'll bet you'd rather hear about my button hole theory. Yes? No? *Confused* Yes? Great! Actually it's more like my button hole hypothesis. It seems every button has it's very own button hole. I get just ONE button in the wrong button hole and the two ends of the shirt, (or coat or whatever) won't be level. I'm then left with the choice of undoing and redoing all the buttons again or ignoring my mistake and hope everybody else does too. I usually opt for the undoing and redoing option even if I didn't allocate myself enough rebuttoning time. I believe I've recently stumbled upon a sure-fire solution to this button hole tragedy. I first lin

















Oh oh. I'm doing it again aren't I? You don't want to be bored with my button hole recipe or kinky sex fantasies do you? Nope. I'll bet you stopped by to hear me ramble on about last night's Amazing Race episode right? I thought so.

As some of you may already know, I'm a HUGE Amazing Race fan. It's one of the few TV shows I regularly watch. This season I've been a tad concerned the producers are frigging around with it alittle too much. (Some) of the teams have some serious issues. I'm sure that's why the producers chose them to begin with. It seems each season there's more and more unlikeable teams. I found the final few scenes last night with Jonathan and Victoria to be quite disturbing.

I enjoy watching the show, imagining how I'd handle each of the many situations these folks find themselves in. I understand how stressful it is and would only hope I'd NEVER behave as badly as Jonathan has been behaving. (To be fair, he has had some moments where he's handled himself with honour, but not many). I LOVE watching the supportive couples...the teams that are there for each other despite all the hardships. I was VERY sad to see Lena and Kristy get eliminated, as well as Don and Mary Jean. Those are the teams I root for. (I'm currently hoping for Kris and Jon/Hera and Gus)

Well...It's probably best if I shut up. My ears are burning anyways. Must be time to check in with the check out girl again. I can't wait to find out what she's been fantasizing about me this time. I hope it doesn't involve me in a chicken suit. I don't mind feathers but I'm not all that crazy about scrawny chicken legs and big, rubber, chicken feet. I guess I'm weird that way.

Shine on



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