Monkeys

Happy Birthday Joshua

Since I know that some of his friends are reading this now, I'd like to say Happy Birthday to Joshua. Please pass that along to him.

One year ago yesterday, we were all sitting at Joshua's Father's house celebrating his Brithday. It was a great time. Good fellowship...good friends...good times. And last night, I was with Eric and Heather, thinking about all of that. Getting all sad...because I want what was. They say don't dwell of the yesterdays, but look forward to tomorrow. Yeah- sure. I'll just forget all the feelings of completion...of love...of everything that I had. Sure, there was frustration....but at least I had someone to be frustrated with. It wasn't all cake and icecream. But it was real. It wasn't this feeling that I have now. Anything would be better than this. But not anyone....it would have to be Joshua. And like my Pastor told me "I'm sorry, but you can't make someone love you." And he was right. But I don't understand why it has to be like this anyway. I don't know that I ever will. From here on out, I get to look forward to living a life with nothing consistant....nothing real. Ever again. Great. Let's look forward to tomorrow.