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Give Me All Your Money!

I'm dead tired and have oodles of things that still have to be done but I heard something on the news I'd like to share with ya'll. This struck me as being very odd and funny. If I had the time I'd love to write one of my stupid stories about this. (This will be just a brief, rough draft for now)

According to the newscast someone held up a convience store somewhere in my province. That in itself is neither odd or funny, (although there was a time not so many years ago when holdups were a very odd occurence in my neck of the world) Anyways...what struck me as odd and funny was the holdup genius held up the convience store not with a gun or knife...but with a rock. Yup. That's right. He held them up with a rock. Something tells me he didn't put a lot of thought into this. The newscast didn't say how big the rock was either. I can't imagine the idiot struggling with some huge boulder...a hunk of granite he'd need help getting into the store with.

"Hey buddy. Would ya mind getting the door for me? I need both my hands to hold onto this rock with...Yeah...That's right. I need to get my rock into this store. Great. Thanks.......Hello. Give me all your money or I'll drop this rock on you. Ummm...would you mind standing a bit closer? I didn't figure on your counter being so wide."

I assume his rock wasn't too small either otherwise it wouldn't appear very menacing would it?

"Yeah. You heard me. Give me all your money or I'll chuck this at ya. No...It's NOT a marble. It's a rock! It's a very nasty rock too. See? What's that? You'll duck out of the way? Well then...I'd go back outside and get another rock...and another...and another...until I do hit ya. What's that? Whatever I throw at you you're gonna throw back at me? Hey! That's not fair. This rock throwing plan was my idea. Huh?...You're not just gonna throw my rock back at me but you're also gonna start biffin' soupcans and batteries at me too? Hey! A soupcan could really hurt. Hmmm...How about if I comeback later and rob you then? I'll be back with a waterhose and squirt ya silly if you don't give me all your money. Let's see ya throw water back at me. Ha! You don't wanna mess with me mister.

Ummm...Do you sell hoses? You do? Great. I'm gonna need all ya got and then I'll be back again within the hour.







God bless all the stupid morons out there.

Later gators.

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