Sarah's Life

All these things...

... Stayed locked up inside my head. And I can't let them out, afraid of who I'll end up worrying. Yet all those people know that there's something I'm still hiding, something that I don't feel like letting out yet.

I'm wondering if now is the time to let them out.

It's been a year now. A year since I broke up with Jackson. A year is enough time to get someone out of your head - usually. Yet he still lingers, or the ghost of his memory does. I still have dreams... I still think of him... and no matter how I try to shut those memories off, they still resurface. I'm starting to wonder if there is any way for me to get over him without talking to him again. Not that he is likly to talk to me even if I tried.

"I can't see what's next from this lonely overpass.
Hang my head and count my steps as another car goes past. " - Pearl Jam

Perhaps I should at least try... but I know it would worry Jeremy if I did. I know why it worrys him, and I also know why it shouldn't, but it still does, so I still have to take that into consideration.

So essentially I'm caught between the worry of my fiance and the desire to make amends with my Ex. and if I were to try the latter, The best day to do it would be... tomorrow.

And all I want to do is talk to Jeremy to try to sort this out. Try to make sure that he'll be alright with my emailing Jackson. And naturally, he's not within cell range and he's not home.

I'm so tempted to try... so tempted to send that email and hope he replies. I'm so impossibly tired of his ghost haunting me.


In other news... I guess... In an attempt to try and keep my mind off this subject... Work kicks ass, even though it sucks most of the time. I'm working at the Maceroni Grill now, which is awesome, since I've loved their food for years, and now I get to eat it for free. And the people there are cool too, I've already made one good friend. And the money is good. So yeah, at least that part of my life is good. Now if I could only get my brain to do what I want it to and shut the hell up. Stupid fucking brain.

"Just bend the pieces 'till they fit
Like they were made for it
But they weren't made for this
No, they weren't made for this" - Dashboard Confessional

"I've always been good at helping everyone but myself." - Me

Gnight




"If you don't have the time to read, you don't have the time, or the tools, to write." - Stephen King

"Forbidden fruits create jams" - Chuch sign saying

"What a strange path I took to find my heart" - Crime and Punishment in Suburbia

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." - Mark Twain

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **