The Chill Kid with the Cool Hat

I miss last summer

Maybe it's just the music I'm listening to, but I feel really depressed and nostalgic. I don't even care what happened today. I just feel down. I miss last summer a lot.

Had a conversation with Kim about going to New Jersey and how she really doesn't want me to go. She questions my caring about her. She wants me to be more emotional, but I don't know how. I don;t know. It's just really confusing right now. I don't know what to do. We have very different outlooks on everything. We're bound to clash, I'm Irish and she's Italian. I love her to death, but she says I don't show it.

It's just so different than what I'm used to I guess. With Andrea, I would hit on other girls, even right in front of her, and she knew that I would never hurt her. I could go away for the weekend with girls and she knew that I cared for her and she trusted me. She knew that she was completely safe with me. It was just so easy. I could be myself and not care. It was the perfect relationship and it ended in two months.

I love Kim dearly with all my heart. I'm just trying to get used to everything. Keeping my actions and words in line mostly. It's new to me. I'm not a very emotional person for the most part. I try to block them out because it clouds judgement, but I think I've gotten rid of them completely. I hope I can get them back.

I don't know what to do. I miss the summer of 2003. (sniffle)