The Chill Kid with the Cool Hat

(sniffle)

Whenever someone says something negative about Dad, Mum, Terri, Rich, or Chris, I see red. I just want to fucking kill the source. This situation is different though. I can't kill this person, my Dad was talking about my Mum.

He told me that he has been the happiest he's been in years because he has found someone new. I was happy for him. She sounds like a nice person too, likes Tennis, Golf, and Sailing. He said I couldn't tell Mum about it until after everything is settled and how if my Mum was being unreasonable, then it'd be settled when I got out of college. That's not what got me.

Recently, I've been thinking that I don't want to be in college. I just feel like I'm wasting my time because I don't feel I'm gaining anything from it. I thought about it last night saying "Damn, tomorrow's Monday, I have class." Then I thought if I was saying "Tomorrow's Monday, I have work for 8 or 9 hours." I wouldn't be down about it. I love my job, I really do. There isn't anything I'd want more than to be working a hard day and then go out and have fun with friends. I just don't think college is right for me. Maybe it's better in the long run, almost sure that it is, but that still doesn't change the fact that I'm not happy. I don't want to go anymore.

I told Dad that I didn't think college was right for me. He said it was. We got into a big discussion about it and he said that the only reason we're living here is because I'm full-time in college. If I wasn't, Mum would sell the house. Even if I took a semester off. Doesn't matter, we'd be out on the street.

I just can't believe my Mum would do something like that. I wouldn't believe it. I said to my Dad, "I can't believe this! Mum wouldn't put me or Chris out on the street for money! You're making her sound like a blood sucking maggot!" His reply: "She will and she is."

I saw red, I wanted to kill him. I couldn't. I saw blue. I saw tears. I ran.

It just hurt so much that he said that. It makes me feel like I don't even know who my Mum really is. It just hurts so much. I need to talk to Mum.

Other high points of the day:
Missed my first class
Didn't understand anything in my second class
Took Kim to American Joe's, but she was depressed

Bowling soon to come.