Crazy Days

One of the worst

Today had been one of the worest days I have experienced in my almost 19 years of life. My mother kicked me out of the house today because of a disagreement about my middle sister. I never thought something like this would happen to me in my life especially from one of my parents. After my mother told me to "pack all of my stuff, go to my fathers, don't come back, and leave my keys and garage opener behind" I began crying and then I became ill. As I packed all of my things (I relized how much that is)I really sat there and thought about my life and the mornings events and I felt sad because a chapter of my life ended but this time it was a bad thing. I have never felt farther away from my mother and I know relize the slim chance of us ever having a good relationship. If I could teacher her one thing it would be to think about what she says before she says it because you can't take anything back once you say it and she has broken my heart so many times now. I hate how she says something such as the above quote and then she later says well it is your choice to go. It seems like she made it pretty clear to me already. I don't know the next time I will talk to her because even thinking about the situation makes me sad and cry. I have never felt this hurt or betrayed by anyone especially someone that close to me. I feel like there is nothing stable in life and that you can't rely on anyone because they will always let you down. I am very lost and hurt and surroned by somemuch stuff that I need to fit into my small bedroom at my dads. As I did my final sweep of the house to make sure I had everything I cryed and cryed and relized how different my life is and how bad it has gone. I feel empty and alone and that it is everman for itself. The only gppd thing that has come out of this is that I don't have to worry and my mom being made and just saying things and then regretting them ever again if she is ever in my life again she will be kept at a distance so she can't ever hurt me again. I hope that the future gets better because my past has had a lot of bumps and I am losing everything. Now I have to switch everything to my dads address and try to just cut my losses and not look back anymore. Just count on yourself that is the best thing you can do because people will always hurt you and let you down!