what matters and why

alone again

Everyday, I take care of your dogs. Your clothes go to the cleaners or in the wash. The house that you pay for is taken care of. I am raising our son. Lately with no help. Funny how I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be in your house, cleaning your clothes and feeding your dogs. Not when I am not even worth the knowledge of what is so horrible in your life that you don't bother to be here. And I never thought I'd say it but I don't want you here anymore. When you are here you are miserable and it makes me feel awful. At least it's easier when you don't come home. If you are not happy here I don't know what to do. I can't fix the problem when I don't know what it is. You answer my questions with one word answers like I am not even worth the trouble. You've changed. So much. I don't know what I did that is so incredibly awful. I'm trying so hard to do what you want done here, and I don't think I'm doing it the way you want it done. And what was the other night for? You can't even speak to me after. All I wanted was some kind of emotion, something. You are giving me nothing to work with. All I know is that it's more important to you to be out with people I don't know and be at places I've never been. Funny thing is, I don't think you're having fun. What are you doing if not that? Are you waiting for me to leave so you can be by yourself?