Monkeys

Turn around

So...yeah. I want to run away. Wanna come with me? That would be a fine idea. But I want to go far far away from everything. Just go. I just want to get away from everything for awhile, and get it together. I am really loosing it here. Not here here, as in my house. It's rather tolerable right now....but I do want to get away. Clear my head. Think things over. Just....I dunno. Run away. But I already said that.

I am a bag of emotions right now, and while I can't explain it to most of you....I can to myself, and anyone else who truly wants to listen. What really kicks my butt are the people who ask what's going on, and then don't really want to know. Because my friends, the truth hurts. And I am sorry- it hurts me, you and everyone else in the world at one point or another.

The truth is an ugly thing that is so beautiful. And oxy moron, I know. But it is. The truth can hurt so much at times, and yet it is the only thing that can give you peace of mind. When you are honest about something. Turn the tables for a sec, and think about it like that.

They say that only the truth can set you free. It is. Think for a second....if you have done something that is horrible, and you confess it to someone, you'll feel better knowing you don't ahve to hide it any longer. Yeah, whatever it was still lingers in your mind, but you don't have to hide it.

Same thing with being honest about how you feel. It will hurt sometimes, but deal with it. Honesty is a very important thing. Deal with it!

Anyway, just a rant I guess, but an honest one at that.
2 Weeks from tonight, I hope to wrapped in the arms of Josh. Will I be? I have no idea. That weekend is supposedly all planned out. Plans change. They always do. At work, my regulars know tha I am going to KC, and everyday, they ask me how many days. One guy makes me figure out the hours. And I am excited. There is a betting pool of if I come back to NY or not...and that to me is really funny actually. I know that I am coming back.

Anyway. Looking forward to a hug from my MO mom and dad, seeing my "husband" who shamelessly ignores me, having cereal with Eric at 1am, beating the snot out of Sarah, hiding my feet from lots of people....just...stuff. Looking forward to it all.
And all in time....

Anyway, I have to run. I'll be around. Posting when I have something to say.