trapped in a soap opera

surrounded yet alone

i guess the combination of two different things has really started to hit me lately. number one is the aforementioned (i think) estrogen overload) right now i feel if i have to be in a whole room of girls or hang out with girls or anything to do with girls (except for a few) then i am going to go nuts. im sorry, but i have never been around women so much and it is driving me absolutely nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

ok on to point two of why im am fucked up as hell in the head tonight. or for the last few weeks for that matter....i feel like im all alone. the women were keeping me company for a while but were all kinda tired of each other i guess you could say. i guess most of my problem is perk is leaving Wed. (not like hes been around much lately anyway) and things between jeremiah and i kinda went to shit (well not totally but he hangs out with is girlfriend way too much now so we dont get any friend time). so.... that leaves me with jack shit good friends out of two.

went to perks going away party tonight--course i wasnt in the partying mood really, and he was spread pretty thin between all those people he feels that he has to cater to (as usual) so after he told me we werent sleeping together (which thats not what i was worried about since i really cant anyway, but i did want to spend a little time with just him) anyway, cause he had an offer to sleep with two girls--hey how can i compete with that?? oh well, hes supposed to be coming to jonesboro tomorrow. who knows if ill actually get to see him. anyway i really dotn even feel like writing all that ive been feeling these past few days and weeks, dont feel like doing much at all. so im going ot go to bed