The Very Secret Diary of Circe

Bagenders

"Then you don't need to talk to a psychiatrist just yet."

"I'm the one with mental problems. Me. Don't start muscling in." Frodo had that worrying glint in his eye.

"You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a vet." said the fridge.

There was a pause.

"That wiz a crap attempt at an insult. Ah mean, 'You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a life' would have been at least relevant."

Merry sang, "I talk to the trees, that's why they put me away..."

"That, you see, that wiz an insult. Ok, it wasn't original, but it was a quote used in an appropriate context. You cannae just wade in with comment about vets, thought has to go into it. Ah've spent years perfecting mah insults."

"Thank you Professor Took of the Insultology Department."

"You see that? Combined both a pertinent comment and a heavy dose of sarcasm." He smacked Merry in the face. "Bastard!"

"But there is always room for a good old traditional expletive. I think we can stop now." Legolas aimed his comment at the flailing mass of arms and legs that was Merry and Pippin.

Aragorn leapt up. "By Jove, I think I've got it!"

"Got what? Dutch elm disease?"

"No, no, how to get Boromir out of the fridge. Old Cordwangler's Extra Blue Fantastically Mature!"

"What? You don't mean... the Dread Stilton of Doom?"

There was a gasp from the room. Merry and Pippin stopped fighting and stood up.

"Not the Dread Stilton of Doom! You know what happened last time!"

"What did happen last time?"

"I don't know. I was hiding, but I heard the noises."

"But what do you hope to achieve?"

"Well, if we put a half pound-"

"A whole half pound? Are you insane?"

"Ok, if we put a quarter pound of Cordwangler's into the fridge, if there's anyway for him to get out he'll take it. If not, then they'll fight to the death."

There was an aggrieved yell from the fridge. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"NO!" said the Fellowship as one.

Yeah, I've been re-reading Bagenders (http://bagenders.stormpages.com/) Good grief, it's funny! Err, yeah, that was the one where Boromir possessed the fridge. Waaaay amusing.

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Jack: Yes, she's safe as I promised, she's going to marry the Commadore as she promised, and you're going to die for her as you promised. You see we're all men of honor, except Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a woman.

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My Fantasy Novel-
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Jack: Yes, she's safe as I promised, she's going to marry the Commadore as she promised, and you're going to die for her as you promised. You see we're all men of honor, except Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a woman.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

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My Fantasy Novel-
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