Varying Shades of Gray - My Life

06-10-03

My emotions are in rollercoaster mode, today. DA's leaving this afternoon for his vacation with his mom, aunt and sister. :( AW is still here, though.

On an "upside", I am a little more at ease, today. The other day, I made a "confession" to BOH. At first I had regretted telling him. But, I think that things are okay. I'm not saying the confession is really a "bad thing." It's just that I was so unsure of what his reaction would be. But, talking to him last night, things are okay, at least I'd like to believe that. After the confession, just before he signed out, he made a certain remark, that I really believe that I have to disagree with. Even though, I don't KNOW, I still have to disagree with what he said. Oh well.

Talked to JC last night for awhile. He's doing good, but he's been kinda depressed too. He said he felt like he was failing me, not being able to come down here yet. I told him, that it was okay and I understand. No, I don't like it any better than he does, but I do understand. And, I still love, respect, and admire him.

Took DA to the RAW party last night. Luckily, the other guys there were well behaved. :).

After I took him home, I went by JMC's. His mom was tehre, but he hadn't gotten home from work, yet. So I signed in and talked to BOH for awhile. Then when he did get home, I let him chat with BOH. We played games and talked a little bit. He asked if I was okay with DA leaving today? Yeah right. Well, I told him, I had to be, I had no choice and couldn't change it. We talked about going to his university town, probably next month, so he can put in resumes and look for an apartment. That is still something that I have fully accepted, but I am so proud of him. I guess the thing that bugs me the most, is that I will not be tehre to "protect" him. I am also scared of him being alone, in a strange town. He'll be okay. I just have to keep telling myself that.

Oh well, I'll close this for now. Have a great day, all.