trapped in a soap opera

sittin around waitin again

wow this night is turning out to be deja vu of last night. sittin here waitin on perk to get his ass over here--its late again so greg will probably go to bed early again. i need to shower--wash my hair-i took one this morning but didnt have time to wash it. Anyway on to more exciting shit (yeah right)--

I was this close to having a job today--went in to take one of those stupid ethics tests (the ones where if you answer them on one side youre wrong, if you answer them on the other side youre too perfect therefore youre lying, and if you answer them in the middle then youre too morally wishy washy--good lord!!!) anyway if i passed it she was goin to sign me up tonight. well went to see if i had passed tonight and turns out the district manager is coming in tomorrow and wants to review all the apps and shit b4 they hire anyone. somehow i have this bad feeling that that third party is goin to fuck me up the ass--and as we all know im not real partial to that kinda thing. so anyway, now i have to wait till tomorrow night and patience is NOT one of my virtues. Oh well fuck it.

otherwise not a whole lot goin on today. just the same ol shit trying to decide what to major in exactly to make the most possibilities, but yet still have the skills i need to reach my eventual goal. since i changed to UALR they have a sign language program. now u have to understand that originally like years and years ago i wanted to be a spanish/asl interpreter. so the question is i cant take german spanish and asl at the same time i dont think so do i keep with the international business/german major, spanish minor; go with option two and do international business/spanish major entreprenuership/small business management minor and study asl on the side; go for international business/spanish major and interpretation double major and take small business management classes on the side; or drop the international all together since i dont see a lot of international fields in spanish( well there are but not sure thats really the option i want to do--prefer germany or something) and go with a double in the small business and interpretation and take spanish on the side. the last option would be the most viable for my eventual goal but would kinda leave me with the fewest options should that not work out. i coud skip the spanish altogether for now and study german and asl and leave the spanish for later, but i just hate to do that--but truthfully you can make enough money in the asl interpretation field to make up for it and im pretty sure theres always jobs. i just have NO IDEA what to do. imagine that--something in my life bein complicated. maybe its just me--i make it that way but who gives a flyin fuck it is anyway so thats what i gotta deal with.

so anyway im just sittin here bored wishin someone i knew would get their ass online, but probably wont till like 5 secs before perk gets here LOL oh well.

oh yeah lets not forget the other school shit--should i go in may or wait till august hmmmmmmm. life was so easy till amanda and roy split--not sure if they even still are. i think shes staying in the guest room and watching sean anyway its just so fucked up. a month ago i knew where i was going and what i was majoring in and when i was going and who i would visit when i was there cause everyones in and around sallisaw which is a meager 45 min away if even that. i was goin to be hangin at Muck's again and listen to physh talk about sitting naked in the woods chanting mantras, and playing pool with transvestites. thats what i liked about that place--except on fri and sat nights when all the electric cowboy crowd came for the late drinks it was a fairly tolerant place. didnt matter who you were or what you looked like you were cool. it was a coffee bar type place that served alcohol. I miss david (my gay friend), and physh, and all the other crazy ppl there. wonder if ryan ever came back wondering if i was there. thats another hook up i wouldnt mind *evil grin*
i miss goin to cheyennes, and watching the looks on guys faces when i got table dances. hell id even like to go back for a performance occasionally--i stripped cause it was a power trip. unlike your usual white trash stripper, i managed to keep my self respect, and actually became a better person for it--gained a lot more confidence and ppl meeting skills. but the difference was i didnt do it for the paycheck but for the hell of it HA HA i guess that sounds funny but thats just me u either understand or you dont doesnt matter to me which. Comes in handy with boyfriends etc too--how many guys get private table dances? im sure theres some but im just that damn good at it ;)

ahhh anyway i guess ive exhausted topics for the night this is nowhere near everything goin on in my head but sometimes im not even sure what im thinking i just know its all bouncing around in there at 100mph and it wont slow down enough to actually figure out what it is. anyway night perk is supposed to be here soon which means itll be another hour.