trapped in a soap opera

no place for jealousy

OK i know i know i know. i have no place to be jealous or pissed at perk but i still am. He left yesterday to go to Little Rock to MEPS to do his preliminary army shit. took him till 10pm to call me, and when he does he talks to me for like 5 min then says he'll be over later cause he has to clean his house. worse yet, rinky dink is at his house right now with him instead of me. here ive been missin him like hell for 2 days and hes got some other chick at his house--and is coming to see me later. now that sounds ok but coming to see me later means that hell stop by and say hi to me on his way back from takin her home. Hell be tired and shit from gettin up at 4 this morning and wont stay long. I get so tired of all his girl friends or "sisters" or whatever you want to call them. he spends hours on the phone with them and hours hangin out at their houses and whatever else. he doesnt sleep with them or anything but it just pisses me off right now. I knwo im gettin too attached but im jsut realizing how much im going to miss him--im losing my best friend. course a lot of them are too but dammit, they all have other friends to talk to I don't. I think its really strange that i havent slept with anyone else even though i can--i wonder if that means something--maybe it just means that i havent had a good enough opportunity come up yet who knows--ive kissed other guys--well one other, but not slept with them. hmmmmmm. not good to try to figure it out. im mainly just writing this so im not still pissed at him when he gets there cause then id have to explain it and that would suck.

Ok well he jsut called--now i got to go to gregs which means most likely that rinky dink is still with him--who knows she might even stay with him tonight--whats the point if theyre not sleeping together i could be there and shit oh well. Ive got to get cigarettes anyway. not any less pissed but ill just have to smoke a lot on the way LOL
later