Sarah's Life

Wow... I havn't posted here, seriously, for a while.

Well, my other journal isn't working. Damn me being a free member over there who apparently has to suffer because they're having hardwear problems.

I guess... I really need to blog, type, get my thoughts on the screen so I can get them out of my head... but that never really works. Well, it does, but then I get bitched at because I'm supposedly a hypocrite for sharing my thoughts with the world at large, instead of keeping them private and to myself. I don't know... I guess the real reason I was never able to keep a "secret diary" is that I don't see the point of writing unless someone else is going to read it. And the fact of the matter is, no one is going to bother reading my online journal unless they know me and check up on it, or they want to get to know me. In either case, they go out of their way to read it, and it's not like I'm asking complete strangers to interfere with my life. And usually the friends that read it are the ones I would go to anyway to try to sort most of what I actually write about out. So I don't see how that makes me hypocritical.

I'm not one of those people who bitches about thier life and how everyone sucks and that everyone should pity them. Well, no one does that directly, but I never write in here specifically looking for pity, hell, I hate being pitied. I hate it. I think it's the stupidest emotion ever created. I hate pity.

As for everything else, and why I'm blogging here...
                              Or hell, why I'm blogging at all..




Friends can really suck. Having friends can really suck. They hurt you, they try to hurt you, they go out of their way sometimes to hurt you. Why? And the hard part this time is wondering whether I should continue trying to be friends... or just give the fuck up. I mean, Corvvs would probably be very happy if I gave up, but this particular friend has been a good friend for something like 7 years now, and with the exception of maybe 1 year of that he's been a damn good friend, so it'd be hard on me... But at the same time, it seems to be exactly what he wants - for me to tell him to fuck off.

So why don't I??

No clue. None whatsoever. He's a good friend, and that's all. And that's been debatable for the past year and I still call him one of my only good friends.

*hangs head*

I quit. I'm just going to lock myself in my room, in the dark, listening to "Blurry" and "Crawlin" until Corvvs comes home from Texas.

Kgirlfae ~ Wanting