The Thought's of Me!

Halloween And Crying

Well, tonight was Halloween. This Halloween was pretty tame compared to some of the previous ones. No matter what anybody says, you're never to old to go trick or treating. We went to my neighborhood, and the 2 neighborhood's next to ours. We saw some cars that had been sprayed with silly string, but that was about it.

Even though tonight was good, at school it wasn't.

I was fine during 1st period. In 2nd I was still alright, but we had an algebra test the other day. The teacher was telling us what we got on it, but I didn't want to hear. I know I did really bad. Well, by 3rd I was feeling kinda bad.

Then all of a sudden, everything I've been trying to forget about from the last month or two came at me a full blast. I was reliving everything. My parents fighting, old boyfriends, a secret admirer, depression, and when I cut myself. Just thinking about all this brought small tears to my eyes. But, luckily nobody was around me, so nobody saw.

Also, I was seeing things that could happen in my future, depending on what choices I make. Spending some quality time with my semi-crush, my sorta ex-boyfriend moving back to the states, and some other things that I shall keep to myself.

I was left wondering where my life is going. And also how did my life get so screwed up. I mean, on Tuesday I was having a wonderful day. All the people in the orchestra are like family. We share so much with each other, and there is never a dull moment.

Then today, everything that has ever gone wrong in my life came back to haunt me. Everybody kept asking me what was wrong. What was I supposed to say to them. "I'm reliving the most horrifying moments of my last 5 or 6 years on this planet." Oh yeah, I could see what they would think about that. They would probably think I was insane.

Well, most of them already do. But they would think I was crazier. Hopefully this weekend will be cheerful. I need some happiness back in my life.