Sugar, spice, snails, puppy dog tails

Survival of the fittest, or better rested

Last night seemed endless as I struggled to find rest, to sleep. Counting sheep never worked for me even when Mother told me to go to bed and I didn't want to sleep. Now, with the pain from my arthritis, lupus, and fibermyalgia twisting and tearing me apart, sheep won't come close enough for me to count. Therefore, I learned to count my blessings as I lie staring into the blackness of my room. Last night, rather early this morning, I lulled myself into slumber by the time I had covered a small portion of the worldly gifts God has given me.

First (I always need to start with number one), the man who lay beside me fighting his own war with physical agony, Robert is always the most blessed of the worldly blessings I have. In February, we will celebrate forty-one years of marriage - to each other. November 7 will mark the anniverary of the first time we met -- forty-one years ago. Yes, we married in haste, but have enjoyed that haste in leisure. Who wouldn't enjoy living with a man who still belives his wife is sexy and beautiful, even when she looks into a mirror and sees a completely different person?

Secondly, I thank God for my children. Whew, they have been blessings and, at times, not so much blessings: a daughter I love with all my heart but many times do not understand; a son whose heart is larger than he is, and who has been hurt as a result; another son who protects his heart and emotions with an "I don't really care" attitude. My life would stretch into eternity empty, boring, sad, and endless without them.

As a result of having children, I have GRANDCHILDREN, the reward for having children (yes, a cliche, but, oh, so true). However, having grandchildren has joys and pain as much as rearing children, and still being the parent of children, entails. As I toss and turn in bed, I count each child as she or he took her or his place in my heart.

Just before my eyes closed in blessful slumber, I reached friends: Jacque, who is the sister of my heart; Merrietta, Janelle's mother but also closer than a sister; Joyce, who shared children, joys, pains, laughs, and tears with me for over thirty years; Jean with her quiet dignity and courage; Mary, who will always be aware of the joy in life; and z-z--z -- z - - z...

Viv

Sugar, spice, snails, puppy dog tails  (ASR) Jots of thoughts as they flit through the rummage of my mind. #551218 by Vivian