what matters and why

stronger

7/24/02
3:00pm

So I got my chance, my weekend away. Two days to only be responsible for myself and no one else. It was a little difficult since I’d only met the girls a few times before we’d spent the weekend together but making it successfully through those two days was such a milestone. Now I know I can hold my own in unfamiliar surroundings. I can carry on a normal conversation. They got to know me and still enjoyed my company. I’ve never felt better about myself driving home that Sunday. Just knowing that I’d accomplished two days away, that I’d made it though a weekend outside my comfort zone. Having that experience was worth all the stress I went through the week before wondering what it would be like. It was all worth it. Just to know I can do something unfamiliar. Maybe I will eventually be a people person. It takes time and experience to learn who you really are, what to expect of yourself in certain situations. For so long, I’ve just avoided things, and now I know I don’t have to do that. Playing again has really helped me pick myself up and realize that I am actually a strong person. That I may be able to manage on my own if needed. I like being able to enjoy being appreciated, knowing that I’m needed and admired for my talent in that area. I’m gifted athletically and I hate that I let it go to waste for four years of my life.

I want to be the kind of person people can look up to, especially if one day I do actually fulfill my dream to teach. I want to be able to say the right things at the right time. This weekend, we’ll sit down with his younger sister and explain what it is that tears a family apart and how she can avoid mistakes that her siblings have made. More than anything I want to say the right thing, to somehow get through to her that she needs to be independent and choose her life on her own. I would hate to see her fall down that same path that has destroyed what could be good relationships in that family. This girl has such a great personality, a great laugh and great attitude. I would hate to see it fall apart because of her mother. There are so many qualities in her that I wish I had, and she has those despite a more than difficult upbringing. Funny how people cannot see their own good qualities when it’s obvious to everyone else.