Random Thoughts

Hickeys. What gives?

What is it about hickeys that men find so alluring? They're a bruise for christ's sake.

So I'm out at the river today with the love of my life. Things get a little heated, and he begins to suck on my neck. Oh boy...that I can handle. I'm sitting there quite happy in this position, when....IT HAPPENS.

No longer was I happily necking in the truck with my boyfriend. I had a large, 220 pound hoover vaccuum cleaner attached to my neck. Hell, a TURBO charged hoover. HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get the jaws of life, I think I'm dying.

You could almost feel my flesh separating from my body. After he morphs back into my sweet, fun-loving boyfriend...he notices exactly how good he got me. "Wow, thats gonna leave a mark."

No kidding. Half of my flesh is still hanging loosely from my body...and he thinks he needs to inform me that it's going to leave a mark. OOoooook.

Do men find it necessary to "mark their territory?" Why don't you just back up to me and spray like a cat, big guy?

Now I have to find a way to cover this crap so I can lead a somewhat normal existance. As a woman that does not wear makeup, that's just a tad bit difficult.

I guess I'll just go around and tell people I have an alien embryo growing out of my neck...that would explain the swelling and the nasty look to it.

Yeah, that'll work.