Thoughts of a Mad Man

Emotional Control/writing/Memoir

Now that we have a handful of the things that have worked for in-the-moment self regulation--more nuance is on the way--there are other longer-term strategies.


One way that one can help soothe oneself is by understanding the emotions. First, one begins with the basic analysis. Just knowing what you're feeling--e.g. is it anger or frustration? and is it intense or mild?--can shift the burden to the higher brain. This in turn, in a way that you can see on brain scans, calms the emotions. The biology doesn't want to waste energy on emotions when the intellect can handle the situation. It thinks you might have to run from a tiger or an enemy tribe, so it will naturally calm you.


You can recognize this emotion. Just naming it correctly revs down the engine. Oh, yes, anger. Ah, I'm scared again. Ooh, I'm just excited at seeing my favorite people. (For us writers, that's why you don't name the overwhelming mood--because naming a 'demon' gives us power over it.)


Now every emotion comes when the brain compares two things. On one side, there is a standard and on the other side, there is a perception.


If a standard doesn't connect to what seems to be happening, then no emotions happen. For example, I have the standard that you will like my writing. In the future, this might cause emotions of joy (when you do) or horror (when people hate it.) At the moment, however, I'm the only one who is looking at it, and I'm not imagining you having much of a reaction, so I'm not feeling anything there.





So here's the task: take an emotional experience you had, and dissect it. Use Sean Webb's equation of emotion and Dwight Swain's narrative cycle, the MRU.





Tell the story in MRU (Swain) order, breaking up the thought part into standards and perceptions. It goes like this:


Tell the journal what you observed, in as much detail as seems relevant. This is the see-smell-touch--etc.





Break paragraph.


Tell the journal what you think is going on at the time and what you expected or wanted, and what emotion that had.


Then the involuntary physical reactions you remember.


Then your deliberate actions.


Then your words.





NOW, tell us what you saw next, especially any results of your actions, and cycle through this until the entire event is down on paper.





OPTIONAL: Offer different interpretations of events.





The result to look for: Expect that this entire event will be a little calmer and a little (maybe a lot) more easy to think about. You might have new ideas about what was going on and what to do about this, and other situations.





Also, because this breaks down an emotionally charged event in the way that narrative uses to draw people in, you might have the draft of an effective memoir, or a Based-on-a-true-Story.