Thoughts of a Mad Man

Emotional Control: Six Second Response

Today I am looking at the ideas from Frederick Stroebel, MD and his "QR: Quieting Reflex."


The claim Dr. Stroebel made is that a six second adjustment of behavior--about the time it takes to pop a pill--can stop a stress overreaction in the body. This is simple and easy and, while the entire book is recommended, I can give you the basics of what to do here.


We've already discussed how quickly a smile can make you feel better. If you missed that, go to the previous installment. Having an experience of that, however subtle, will make this discussion more real to you.


It seems like this would be easier to read if you first knew what you would be doing before we discuss the when. So that's what I'll start with.


Doctor Stroebel correctly suggests his patients and readers not focus on mental tactics because we have much more control over our bodies than our thoughts. Yes, visualization and meditation are great for those who have acquired those skills, yet for most of us it takes more than the six seconds. Also, all that can be added once we have the obvious things down.


Basically, step one is to determine that an unneeded stress response has happened. We'll discuss how to decide that, and what it means, in the next one.


The next step is several things all at once. The breath should be released longer and slower, just letting it go and very gently breathing out longer and longer. The jaw should be dropped a bit, and relaxed. Every piece of our body can be trained to take a softer, more open pose at the same time. Shoulders should fall away from the ears. Head should look up and out. Fingers should straighten and move slightly apart. Arms should move away from the body to take up space. Legs do the same.


Key to this is the gentleness of the motion. It should be a letting go, be comfortable and easy. Especially the breath. If you pull plenty in, that breath will start out moving fast and as the air pressure escapes it will go slower and slower. When it is gone, let it come back in--there should be no pressure put on by you.





This process tends to take alarm from down a few notches. On a scale of one to ten, a 3 would become a one--in my experience, it doesn't take it to a zero--and a five would become a three. At this point, any improvement should be considered an unqualified success. Remember that before you tried this, you didn't think you could do it at all -- at least, not this fast.





Also note that as you do this more and become more gentle, it will be more effective. You're likely to get better at knowing which changes really signal the all clear to your body and mind. Even one change is likely to help--I've seen hypnotists interrupt a bad emotion by moving one arm--and if every part of you switches to at ease it is likely to be something hard to ignore.





The primary hurdle is expecting total calm. That's not what we're about, here. It is achievable in the long range, and yet it isn't always even desirable. Instead, celebrate what change you create as you stumble before you dance. That's what will keep you going, and what will create lasting change.