Journalistic Intentions Encore

#master

         Now just wait a minute buster. Who are you shushing and chiding to be quiet? You expect me to just sit here and listen as you rant and rave , almost foaming at the mouth. Come on, you must realize that you tend to be long-winded. On and on you prattle. I can never get a word wedged in sideways.

         Do you not hear yourself? Have you not noticed that you repeat yourself? Point made, move on. Talk about beating a dead horse. I do get it, but you will not permit me to reply. When did I agree to these one-sided conversations?

         Oh, and another thing. What's with the melodrama when I pass a wee bit of gas? It is a perfectly natural body function and yes, sometimes it can be unfortunate and ill-timed, but, hey, it happens. You have been guilty of this too, my friend. Do you ever see me gasping, retching, and thrashing? When was the last time you ever witnessed me hurtling myself at a window and tugging it open claiming to be blinded? Not once have you spied me fanning the air in the immediate vicinity, or spraying noxious fumes disguised as room freshener. Get over yourself.

         We both agreed to live together as room mates. Aren't we well past the honeymoon period? You have quirks and I'll admit I have quirks. We are not the same person.

          Have I not indulged your compulsive need to tuck everything into its perfect spot? If you believe all footwear should be paired and balanced upon a rack then so be it. I see no harm with shoes scattered all willy-nilly near the door. No one needs them until they step outside. A sneaker has yet to attack me. A boot rarely trips me.

         Sorry, but sometimes I cannot contain myself. I apologize for my infrequent grumblings. I just don't understand the problem. The livingroom has more than one chair. Why can't I sit wherever I wish? Some days lend themselves to a sprawl and a stretch out on the sofa. I do not begrudge your lazing about.

         And aren't blankets intended for self-wrapping? Why do you prefer them to be folded and untouched? Crumpled or smooth, a blanket is still a blanket.

         I suppose this is where I bring up the throw pillows. Who decided that they could not be used on the floor? I could be mistaken, but I have the impression that certain pillows are always to be paired? Is this important? I also could not help but notice that you assign the pillows to their own furniture. Do they have a preference?

         Never have I dared dine without the pleasure of your company. My stomach has its own timetable, but I wait for you. I would not dream of eating anything without your express invitation. We share and share alike. Remember? My cookies are your cookies.

         Speaking of treats... I believe it is time for our daily walk. I am pleased that you accompany me most evenings without a nudge and too much groaning. The fresh air and exercise benefits us both you know. I just wish our fellow ramblers would stop referring to you as my master. Clearly, we are roomies, right?

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