Birchwood Manor

BM24 Notes Part B

BM24 Notes Part B



BM24 Part 2: Show, don’t tell. Include the pile of wood for the fireplace and matches on the mantel. Possibly have kindling available somewhere.

With the utensils for cooking on the fireplace there one character can assume there is a fridge or freezer that is keeping the meat frozen or at least cool somewhere. Could a mini-freezer have its own generator of some sort? Could it be there in the foyer?



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Scene Jeff

As Jeff pulled away from the manor, he slipped on his headphones and pushed play on his portable player. His head was soon filled with the explosive loud rhythms of hard rock music.

Jeff looked up from the player and seen there was a large rock in the driveway that wasn’t there before. He swerved around it only to see that the iron gates were shut. He slammed on the brake but the van accelerated and smashed into the gates. A piece of metal piping that had been leaning against the gate shot through the van engine and into Jeff’s left abdomen.

Jeff saw that there was smoke coming from the engine and could smell the leaking gasoline.

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Word count 196













BM24 Part B1

Scene 3

Tim Reid walks to the fire chief’s office with a rock in the pit of his stomach. He hadn’t really fit in at Station 51 where he had been for five months. Tim knew it was because he was living a lie.

Tim tapped on the plexiglass door and entered when Chief Bodin grunted.

“You wanted to see me, Chief?”

“You know what this is Reid?”

“Looks like my transfer papers from Chicago.”

“A bunch of trash is what it is. Not one word on it is true.”

“I don’t know what to....”

“Say goodbye Reid. You’ve been nothing but a paranoid peacock and endangering the whole outfit.”

There really was nothing Tim could say. He walked out of the office with his head low and went to clean out his locker.

Tim dialed his handler, Pete Parkas, but got the answering service. He didn’t leave a message.

As Tim approached his blue Chevy Pickup, a dark SUV screeched around the corner. A man leaned out of the passenger window wearing a ski mask and carrying an automatic rifle. Tim is forced to flee as the gunfire destroys his truck. He ducks behind a wall and tries to call Pete again. He reaches another agent who tells him Pete Parkas was murdered and he needs to come to the office ....

As Tim is running away, he realizes that his protection cover must have been blown. He reaches in his jacket pocket and pulls out his invitation.......

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Approx 500 words