Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

The Courage to be Vulnerable

I haven't written a static item in some time. Creativity used to ebb and flow according to how deep into the binge I was...and how happy or sad I was in general. These days, most of my creative energy is spent here on the blog. Coming up with new stuff to write about, in my mind, shouldn't be a forced thing. I believe that if I have nothing worthwhile to say, and try to say something anyway, that will transcribe onto the 'page'...and that simply will not do.

Because I have a reasonable backlog of work, in these lacklustre moments, I will at times, copy-paste from my port to here. This serves two purposes. The first is to relieve me of the burden (and you of the mediocrity) of trying to find something...anything...to post simply for the sake of it. The second, and for me, more appealing reason for using this tactic, is the hope that the extract may be entertaining enough to bring more readers to my port.

Before I joined WdC the first time, I sat in my bedroom and wrote stuff that no one but my Mom heard. This went on for a year before I searched for and found this site. Then, I began posting my work. I stayed for a year or two before I told a member, who I had befriended, that I had relapsed. When things soured between us, he threatened to expose my drug use to my local police. Because of this, I panicked and closed my account.

I stayed away for a year before returning. I was sober then, which gave me the courage to talk publicly about my drug use, but it wasn't long until I relapsed again. It was then I had to decide whether to hide my shame or confess to the world.

At that time, WakeUpAndLive and I had become friends. I told her about my relapse and she suggested I begin blogging. She even created the blog's name for me...thank you P...I will always be indebted to you for your support back then, which continues today.

I decided to be completely honest in writing about my journey...writing which at times, can be brutal for me to go back and read. There have been so many people who have shared their thoughts with me over the last three years, and to all those who have shown me support, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know and appreciate how lucky I am to have found this site and the majority of members who have not judged me, and instead, supported a complete stranger, who, let's face it, didn't always make the best choices.

I look back now and wonder (going by the previous post)...how could think of using meth again? I have to face that I will always be at risk. All it takes is one drink for an alcoholic to fall off the wagon, and it is no different for me. Knowing my triggers and not putting myself in harm's way is so important. Writing about my life on this blog is also a good way to remain grounded. Thank you to everyone who comes here and shows an interest in my life.