Daily Cascade

Forgiveness

Prompt: forgiveness
“Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love.”
Fred Rogers
What do you think about the prompt and/or do you think forgiveness is always a solution to problems?

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First, let me say that I forgive only because I don't like that feeling of resentment toward anyone. So. just maybe, my forgiveness has its roots in egoism, I should say.

Some time ago, when I said that I forgive everyone ever, my son asked, "Even Hitler?"

Well, that was a toughie. It is much more difficult to forgive the sins against humanity. I said, feeling quite uncomfortable, "Sins against humanity, especially on such a large scale, I make an exception. Still, I don't ever forgive such acts, but the person committing them is another matter." Copout answer? Maybe. But also, I never met Hitler, either, Thank God!

Then, imagine that such a terrible person was or is a friend! That would be quite a challenge, wouldn't it! The reason is, we don't expect negative anything from a friend unless it is done in an advisory capacity. Otherwise, any harm or an unkind word coming from a friend would feel like a violation of mutual good feelings and trust.

This is because we invest emotionally in our friends through our shared experiences and deep connections. Also, what may enter inside our minds would be the fear of being hurt by those friends, again.

With enemies, there is that expectation of conflict anyway, so when that happens, we take it in stride. Here, I have to say, we might even opt to forgive an enemy or a rival or someone who acts negatively toward us, when that someone changes their mind and becomes friendly. There is no reason not to forgive that person's past behavior.

This very thing happened to me. Someone, who I thought wasn't acting in a positive manner--possibly through some invented jealousy or dislike of me--right after my husband's passing, started acting very warmly and friendly. In fact, she was kinder and more loving than most of my friends and family members. She called or messaged me every day and she offered her help for whatever I might need. And it wasn't for a few months either. To this day, we are friends getting closer and closer, and we still keep in touch several times a week. Now, such a turnaround is most welcome and definitely deserves forgiveness, wouldn't you say!

Forgiveness, mostly, brings healing and growth as it cuts closer to the heart of who we are and how we relate to others. In this way, the act of forgiveness isn’t just about the other person, but about reconciling with our own vulnerabilities. After all, letting go of resentment, anger, or a desire for revenge against someone who has wronged us is central to many spiritual teachings because of its potential to bring peace, emotional freedom, and reconciliation.