My Conversion Story Journal

September 29, 2024

I had a rough week. Not because of any particular event, and honestly, I don't know if it was all mental from not benching properly last Shabbat. I admit that I feel much better that I have benched properly. I'm hoping that I have a better week because of it.

I emailed my dean with the holiday times that I will not be able to work. This week is Rosh Hashana. I will not be working Thursday or Friday. He did not seem happy to have the list. The month of October is the high holidays and most Thursdays and Fridays I will need to take off work. I'm hoping this isn't going to be a problem, because I like my job and don't want to have to quit.

I've continued attending classes, with the Rabbi who jokes, going over The Shabbos Kitchen by Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen. I started studying The Laws of B'rachos by Rabbi Binyomin Forst with a guy from my Hebrew class who is converting also. We are not in the same state, so we study over the phone.

I had a friend come look at my kitchen set up and see if it was set up well for keeping kosher. I wanted to know if there was anything that I was missing or if there was anything that I needed to fix. I seemed to have done well. I was told that I did well and given some helpful tips. I love my friends here. They are wonderful people.

I knew that moving here wouldn't make converting easier and I would have more learning to do, but I'm starting to feel like I did in college where all I do is work and study and get very little sleep. I'm tired. I want more time to study so I'm sacrificing time that I need to spend lesson planning to get it more time in. I haven't had time to bake much, and I miss baking bread. I need to find my balance. I have not found it yet.