This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
As you would expect, things are beyond good in Honeymoonsville, Thailand and Nada has practically moved in with me. I drew the line at her quitting her job and me taking over her financial responsibilities. It's only been five days since I saw her for the first time and (pretty much) fell instantly in love with her. She knows she has plenty of time to make me hers to do whatever she wants. I'm sure that over the coming weeks and months, she will find ways of extracting money from me (money I will gladly hand over), but for now, the pressure on me is low. It's referred to locally as playing the long game. Nada is beyond cute. I look at her and it's like there are butterflies in my stomach. Cialis helps me keep (it) up with her in the bedroom, and I have no shame in admitting that. It's like I am twenty again in that respect, but I know the honeymoon will end soon and the real negotiations will begin. So far, it has gone like this...we have informally agreed that if Nada needs something small, for example, a new phone or a pair of runners, I will pay. I figure for what I am getting right now, it's a bargain I would be a fool to refuse. She is so sweet and beautiful that (at least for now) I will do nothing to cause her to become dejected...which is so self-serving that I feel a small degree of shame admitting. However, as the stakes go up, I know the time will come when I must put my foot down and either end it between us (which at this point I foresee as being the smartest and most likely choice for me to make) or control the situation to the best of my ability by saying no and dealing with the consequences that will follow. I will need to establish strong boundaries, even though I know they will be hard to enforce without drastic action. It only took me three days to make her cry, which is a record. Normally, it would take months to achieve such a feat. It appears that girls in Thailand are much more sensitive than their Western counterparts. We could go into detail as to why this is so (better outcomes in divorce settlements and more basic wealth, which provides options that a poor girl from Isan simply doesn't have), but there are too many to get into, and as I have already stated, my understanding that things will become more challenging as time goes by makes me want to focus on the present good things I am enjoying about Nada. Her tears did make me realise it would be unwise of me to underestimate the power she holds in those beautiful dark eyes. In her distress, I held Nada and felt an almost overpowering need to stop her tears from flowing. And I know they were only the first shots in the powerplay I am getting into. Logic (my brain) is telling me sooner rather than later will be the time to do the, " It isn't you, it's me" routine. My heart, however, argues that I am projecting events that may never happen. Me? I am enjoying the Thai girlfriend experience way too much to make any rash decisions. I will play the game to my advantage in the hope of achieving the best outcome for me. It's safe to say that at the moment, the goals I'm kicking drag me further into a game that Nada knows so much better than I do. |