My Conversion Story Journal

August 10, 2024

After moving all my things, I started work this week. I left Thursday night to go back up north to finish cleaning up the apartment I moved from. I slept on a stained mattress on the living room floor (taking it to the dump the next day) using a stuffed dog as my pillow and no blanket.

The place I am moving from were not very nice about me moving out. They are charging me the extra $65 a month for having cable even though I had it shut off. They also threatened to charge me an extra month's rent (including extra for the cat that is not there and the cable which is not turned on) after my lease ended (September 30th) just because they could. I shed a lot of tears, freaked out a bit, and then remembered (WHY DON'T I DO THIS FIRST!!) that I was not going through this process alone (Hashem is with me) and that everything will work out according to Hashem's plan. I finally stopped crying and said, "I trust you G-d. If they overcharge me, I know you will help me figure out how to pay it."

One thing this conversion process has taught me is to trust Hashem fully. Everything I experience, every hardship I go through, every injustice, every blessing, everything is for the good.

Once my emotions were back in check, I cleaned hard to get done before I had to come back home for Shabbat.

It was Friday and my time was up. I was not finished with my cleaning. I had about two more hours worth of cleaning to do. I had to make a choice. Do I stay and finish so I don't have to drive another three hours each way and never come back again, or do I leave and make it home for Shabbat?

I will be renting a hotel room next Thursday night so I don't have to drive a total of six hours in one day. I will then finish next Friday and turn in my key.

I know that decisions to observe Shabbat and holidays are always going to be in my life from now on. I pray that I always make the right decision, just like I did this past Shabbat.

Thank you G-d for supporting me, comforting me, providing for me, and guiding me through this entire process. I love you.