Wanda's Ramblings

Time

Time

What is time? Is it a construct we use to frame our existence? Is it immutable? Or is time malleable and we just don’t know how to manipulate it yet? Don’t worry I’m not going to try to answer these questions. The greatest philosophers and scientists of the ages have managed to describe, manipulate, and harness much of our environment but time has remained elusive. Everything we know is dependent on time and for the most part, we use time to measure and control all of the other pieces of the puzzle.

So, if we cannot control time why don’t we, or more precisely I, use it more wisely? The 2 things I have no control over are time and my life force. One might say that I do have control over my lifeforce because I have the choice to end my life. I have the feeling though that my life force would only change states and not really cease to exist. So, my life force, or more precisely my soul, is obviously very precious to me because without it I truly do cease to exist.

I can contemplate my death or even ceasing to exist although it may be difficult, but time is another matter. I cannot truly contemplate existence without the element of time. Others may be able to but no one I have met has made any headway with that endeavor, although it is not a common topic for conversation. My thoughts are even ordered by time because I cannot think of a thought before another. In other words, I even need time to write this blog because I cannot think of the end without thinking of the beginning and the middle. The beauty of that is that I am never stuck where I am at because time will always move me forward.

Ok, I don’t know about you, but all of this has made my head hurt and get a little wonky. What I really wanted to explore is my own personal use, management, and voyage through time. In a certain sense, I am making use of time whenever I set anything into motion. If I apply paint to a surface I need time to dry it, there is no other way. On the other hand, mankind has spent quite a bit of effort in making the time spent on such things less with quick-drying paints, quick-setting concrete, etc.

We seem to put a lot of time and energy into time conservation. So, I guess if we use time to create time savings then maybe in a way we have traveled time. Yeah, probably not. I can manipulate everything else in my environment, but time is constantly marching along unstoppable, unchangeable, invincible. You would think that in that case, I would have spent my time more wisely over the years.

As I have gotten older I realize that time is much like a river that I cannot get out of. The vessel I am floating down that river has changed and picked up characteristics along the way that have made me who I am at this instant in time. I will never be the same again though. Just writing that last sentence made a subtle change in my thinking. So, in the end, I think that the only thing that has truly changed with time is my thinking. Sure, the environment has aged with time, but I don’t think it has really changed all that much. Things like trees and plants age and die but they are replaced, and, in the end, things stay pretty much the same.

On a long enough timeline, everything will pretty much return to its original state including the things we have made like buildings, roads, etc. The one thing that has changed over time and cannot be reverted though is my thinking. My ideas, knowledge, and memories are permanently changed. I cannot purposely forget something, I cannot unsee a memory, and I cannot remove an idea. I can only move forward and try to learn something new that will alter the thing in my head. I think that is what time is really all about. Time keeps me from getting stuck because I cannot stay in the same instant, it is impossible.

Getting more personal I see time from different perspectives depending on my context. There is the more global sense of time like seeing myself getting older. The age I am at now really brings that into perspective. I can look back now and see this very long timeline with so many events in it. A younger person can’t have or know that perspective. Then there is the more immediate part of time such as calculating when to go to bed, what time to set the alarm, etc.

Then there is time management and how to spend my time. Time is kind of like a type of gift card. I cannot add any time to the card, but the amount left on the card is constantly going down. That thought gave me chills! Many days I feel like I only watch the card balance go down. Sure, I go to work, sleep, etc. but it feels like the time just slipped by. Part of why this topic came to mind is that I am semi-retiring and will have a lot of time on my hands soon. I am worried that I will just look back at most days and realize all I did was convert oxygen into carbon dioxide for the most part.

So, the time spent writing this piece has been well spent because my ideas have changed somewhat while writing it. I hope that the intentions I have to make better use of my newfound free time do not diminish with time, pun intended because that would be a real waste. I set out to simply describe my views on time but have seen a whole new side to it. I hope it has helped you as well.