Life With A Werewolf

New Business Ventures Finale

          You can fight hand to hand with someone larger than you if you have extensive training in it. It’s still very difficult, but it is doable. Your tactics become more about balance, momentum and leverage. The idea is to get them off balance, utilizing their own momentum so you can leverage a weak point, a joint usually to inflict pain and do enough damage that you can get out of the conflict alive and whole. It takes training, dedication, and a touch of grace. I hadn’t had training in quite a while. I am always dedicated to helping my friends, but grace and I have never even been in the same hemisphere, let alone be touched by it. I can make a baby giraffe on stilts look graceful.
          So, the last leg of my plan really did rely on my friends and none of my grace. It was simple really. Me and Elouise show up to the barbecue place right after closing, begin the scrap, distract them enough so Crash can go crashing in and saves the day. Not elegant, but it’s how literally all of my plans worked it seemed, despite me attempting to do other things. So, why not lean into what I am best at? When it comes to this werewolf, I’m best at being the damsel in distress. But I don’t wear a dress and he doesn’t get a heroic kiss after.
          Elouise, Crash, and I rolled over to the restaurant afterwards. Of course, me and Elouise went inside while Crash hung around outside doing whatever it is werewolves do during the daytime. We expected to see more of their barbecue, perhaps a few lingering customers, and three Rougarou taken by surprise. None of us was expecting the open house or the gravel parking lot full of cars.
          On the outside everyone had parked in just about every which way they could fit themselves in, the traditional way people park in lots without lines. Some trucks attempted to take up space of nine vehicles, while some smaller vehicles were bullied off into the corner somewhere, or sandwiched between two larger SUVs.
          Inside was a crush of people surrounding most of the tables. A soft murmur of conversation had settled in, like a layer of fog across a small New England town at the break of dawn. Across each table lay a display of property lines, a road traveling through it, and of course, the name sitting out front, “Mefferdi Estates”, written in scrolling cursive upon a proposed sign. It was a beautiful digital recreation of a neighborhood I was determined would never exist.
          Couples that ranged from elderly to newlyweds were all staring down at the pamphlets and displays of the properties. Some of them had already been sold, ‘all but the paperwork is ready’, I’ve heard one yuppy looking guy said as he chatted excitedly to his equally yuppy looking wife. “I spoke to the crew foreman. They can even get us the Kentucky Bluegrass we always wanted,” he beamed with pride.
          “Shit,” Elouise whispered in my ear, staring down at one of the pamphlets, “what are we going to do?”
          I shrugged. “What we came do to,” I whispered back.
          “We can’t start a fight here with all these people,” she hissed.
          I smirked at her. She really did not know me very well. The one thing I’m honestly good at is starting a fight just about anywhere. So, I did what got me thrown out of one of my uncle’s thanksgiving feasts, and subsequently banned from his property. I leaped onto the table, holding the pamphlet in my hand and shouted. “Boy! These properties sure do look nice. Why, I’d be tempted to commit double homicide myself to sell stuff like this!”
          You could hear a pin drop as every eye turned towards me. “Excuse me,” one elderly lady asked. I could tell I shocked her. Her mouth was open so long, that I wanted to tell her she was going to catch flies that way, but instead I leaned down and said “try more lean protein and fiber. Should help with the gas.”
          Then I stood and shouted at everyone else, as I ignored her indignant ‘why I nevers’. “That’s right, double homicide! Murder times two! These two lovely bimbos,” I said pointing at Marissa and Tarissa, “murdered the sweet innocent Gandiffs after holding their family hostage to buy it!”
          The ‘twins’ turned towards me, death in their eyes. “How dare you,” she snarled, “we did no such thing! You’re gonna hear from our lawyer for makin such baseless accusations and slanderous lies! We’re gonna sue you into the ground. Your grand-children are gonna need lawyers when we’re through!”
          “That’s right,” I shouted talking over her. “If we peel up these boards right now and dig a bit, we’ll find fresh lye, and two very battered bodies of sweet innocent people beneath our very feet!”
          Tarissa turned sheet white for a moment. Marissa looked like she expected something like that. “We did no such thing, you can’t prove a damn bit of it, just another ugly carpet bagger trying to fool these fine folks.”
          “I’m not the one trying sell land without giving anyone actual paperwork. How many of you were able to read a contract tonight before handing over the down payment? How many of you read any paperwork what so ever? Have you asked why this restaurant is in such a cheap, flimsy building? As if they’re ready to flee at any moment?” I looked around the room. Every eye was on me now. It was as if the lightbulbs were going off in their heads all at once.
          “Why I tell you, you’ve been hoodwinked. Bamboozled. Flim-flamed. Everyone in here is a sucker for the oldest con known to man! Something for nothing! I bet when you come by tomorrow to pick up your ‘paperwork’ not even this building will be standing!”
          Accusations began to rise as people started asking about the paperwork and titles for the land. I think it was the yuppy Kentucky bluegrass that asked started asking first. That sort of started a snowball effect. Thank God, or the universe or whoever, but everything began happening all at once. Through all the shouting threats and demands, the crowd of people pressing in closer and closer on Marissa and Tarissa, I almost didn’t see Garrett until he was practically on top of me.
          Even in human form he was massive. And moving at a clip that I knew I couldn’t match. He had come from some room around back, wearing a buttoned-up flannel shirt of some kind. I figured he was playing the “foreman” that yuppy Kentucky Bluegrass had spoken to. Elouise stepped in front of him, and tried to slow him down. Which gave me enough time to jump off the table and run out the front door.
          Flashing blue and red lights where everywhere at this point. People shouting. Some people trying to leave because they were smart enough to not hand over money yet and wanted no part of what was happening. And then there was me. Running towards the back of the property, muttering “stupidplanstupidplanstupidstupidstupid” as I did a full sprint towards the fence.
          Then my feet left the ground.
          I looked down at Elouise, who was at a full sprint, and shifting into her gator form. She had scooped me up and threw me over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “I didn’t know you could shift and run,” I said, as her snout began to push out from her face.
          “Me either till now,” she snarled, looking around. “Hurts like a bitch though. Hang on!”
          We were in the woods now, drifting further from civilization. At least I thought we were until we broke through the tree line and into a commercial lot of some kind. It was a large open space, with no construction a road nearby, and no one else.
          And then three Rougarou in full gator form surrounding me and Elouise.
          A lot of the action happened faster than I could see with my own eyes. Two green blurs fought against another green blur in the middle. Elouise was holding her own against Marissa and Tarissa, at least for a while. Then she was on her back, with Marissa and Tarissa pinning her down.
          While I was watching Elouise, Garret just scooped me up like a child being scolded by a parent. He held in front of his face. He hissed and opened his maw, threateningly. His mouth was ring of glistening razer sharp gator teeth and a tongue that lead into nothingness – an eternal abyss of death and destruction. “I hate the taste of human,” he snarled. “But for someone as special as you, I’ll make an exception.”
          A lone howl cut through the night. Garret snapped his jaw shut and turned towards the woods that we had just ran through. I looked in the direction he was staring just in time to see two large, furry blurs erupt from the tree-line. The Rougarou never had a chance. The darker of the blurs hit Garrett. I hit the ground and rolled, limping a bit, but not yet feeling the injury. As I looked up towards Garrett, I could see Crash on top of him. Garrett was on his belly, squirming as Crash held his tail in his claws. A quick slash then Garrett’s tail was no longer attached to his body. Marissa and Tarissa would have looked upon him with sympathy had they stuck around, I know. But the brown blur had already chased them both into the woods.
          Garrett snarled up at Crash, as Crash threw the tail down. “You bastard,” he whimpered, “You flea-bitten bastard! I’ll kill you if it’s the last thing…” His tail lay beside him like a bloody tree limb. In the thin light the blood was black. You could almost convince yourself it was nothing but a movie prop from an old Ed Wood film if you tried.
          Crash scooped up Garrett in his claws. Red and blue lights had found our little party. A scared rookie cop announced that whoever was in the costume to drop them now and back away. Crash snarled something at him then disappeared through the shadows. Garrett did the same, limping away now in a different direction.
          The flashing red and blue lights blinded me to most of what happened with the cop car. There was a shout. A conversation. Then the car left in quite a hurry afterwards. When Crash walked back up to me, I asked him what had happened. He just smiled at me and said “We had a small talk about what his job and my job was.”
          “You made him piss himself, didn’t you,” I asked.
          A grin appeared on Crash’s muzzle, as his ears tipped backwards a bit. “Not intentionally.”

***

          The sun was rising again over the small patch of trees that separated our house from the rest of the small town that it resided nearby. It was enough to be a forest I guess, but not quite like the forests I grew up with. Still, it was a nice reminder of home. And would occasionally give me a reminder or two of why I left.
          Elouise and I leaned against Crash’s front bumper, watching the sunrise. Crash had dumped us off, parked the car, then disappeared into the woods. “He always has to work so late,” she asked.
          “Paperwork,” I said. “And knowing Crash, he probably returned to where Garett disappeared and is searching for him.”
          She shuttered. “I hope he finds that bastard,” she said.
          “Me too,” I agreed. “I’m curious what a tailless Rougarou looks like as a human.”
          She smirked. “Really,” she asked.
          “I’m serious! You think he lost a leg or has massive scars on his butt? I mean what little but there was, Garrett had a serious case of noassatall.”
          Elouise looked at me, in the confused dog look that Crash sometimes gets. “Noassatall?”
          I nodded. “Yeah! He had no ass at all! Like none! Dude looked like God snatched it off him in the womb or egg or whatever as a cosmic punishment.”
          She laughed. Which set me off as well, our cares of the past few days cascading into the morning. “You know,” she smiled at me, putting a hand on my shoulder. “If you were only Rougarou and not human.”
          “Bad idea,” I sighed, sliding subtly away. “Damaged goods. Don’t do that to yourself.”
          “What about Crash,” she asked.
          “Crash?”
          She nodded. “What about him? You think?”
          I looked over at the sunrise. Golden red rays piercing through the blue skies to promise another glorious day. Suddenly though, I was feeling the chill. She must have seen something on my face, as she looked down. “I’m sorry, I didn’t,” she began.
          “No,” I said, patting her shoulder. “It’s not like that.”
          “Then what,” she asked.
          I paused a moment. “I don’t know exactly. It’s not my place to say even if I did. But what I will tell you is that sometimes someone is so hurt by something, some event, some person, some thing, that a part of them becomes broken. That’s what I think happened with Crash. I’m not saying you can’t try. But I’m saying don’t be surprised if he don’t respond well.”
          She nodded then turned. “Friendship is probably the better option,” she muttered, then said, “I’ve got to get back. Sleep. Unpack, you know the drill.”
          I smirked; the smile felt a little hollow. “If you ever want to beat someone at arm wrestling, you know where to find me.”
          She turned around and took two steps backwards as she spoke. “Oh, come on, that ain’t hard. I can beat half the town!” Then turned back and left, the sunrise leaving long trails of shadows before her.