Everyday Canvas

Feeling the Appreciation

Prompt: Feeling valued
"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."
William James
What makes you feel appreciated? Can you describe a time when someone made you feel valued?

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I think feeling valued and appreciated is a fundamental human need. That must be why therapists, some time during their counseling, try to make their subjects appreciate their own selves and their personal successes. This can help build self-confidence and self-respect.

In my case, what makes me feel appreciated could be a sincere thank you. Mostly, when I think about it, my sons both told me at different times that I was the best mother they ever knew and when I told them that I was the only mother they knew, they said they had noticed their friends' mothers, too, and my mothering surpassed everyone. Now, I believe their words has to be the highlight of my mothering experience.

Then, my husband used to always say that I was the foundation and the framework of the family, which used to make me feel like a million bucks. I would answer him with a joking yell, "Timber!" Then, he'd say, "but a very special timber." The memory of his appreciation will always move me above all others.

This makes me believe that when the appreciation comes from close family, it is the most valued in our hearts. Before I starting writing this, I read the two other blog entries on the same subject, and both my friends mentioned their immediate family.

In my case, I shall always remember other people, too, who have appreciated me a very long time ago. For example, when a friend of my mother's was complaining about her daughter's ways and asking how my mother handled that kind of a situation, I had overheard my mother say, "Oh no, my daughter never does those things!" Now this wasn't a direct appreciation but I liked her answer even better, at that time. Not that I have been an all-around angel either!

Then, I also gloated (and still do), during the graduation oral exams, when my high school lit teacher bragged to the other examiners, "She is my best writer in the class." The same feeling of being valued came up again when I left academia and got married. I recall vividly one of the profs walked about on the corridor, yelling, "This idiot, throwing away a career for a ring on her finger! Idiot, idiot, idiot!" Yes, being called an idiot in this case had been a big honor. I cherish a few other such memories like this from my earlier life where others made me feel valued and part of a group.

Still, lately, when I receive a meaningful gift in the mail that has nothing to do with my birthday or other celebratory days, I feel elated and recognized. Also a sincere "thank you!" is much appreciated by me.

All this is because appreciation can come in many forms, from a simple "thank you" to a grand gesture. It might be expressed through words of affirmation, acts of kindness, thoughtful gifts, or even just a warm, genuine smile. Regardless of how it is conveyed, the impact of that appreciation can be very deep. It lifts my spirits and motivates me to continue on with my best efforts.


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