Wanda's Ramblings

More of my take on DID, (Dissociative Identity Disorder)

My oldest memories are of my Grandparent's home in Aurora Colorado. I remember getting hurt outside on a blanket, I must have rolled onto the grass or got stung. I had to be a baby. I remember falling down my grandparents’ blue stairs leading into their basement, I had to be less than four years old. To me, this shows that traumatic memories are the most imprinted and endearing.

I have also come to believe that the pain and dysfunction that trauma creates never really goes away. The law of conservation states that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only converted from one form to another. Therefore, I believe that my life energy, the thing that turns this computer made of meat into a personality, is the same. Energy and water will take the path of least resistance. I believe that the path of least resistance for me in many of the most extreme events of my life was to flow into a new tributary, or personality if you will. Like flood waters overtopping a levy or bank, many of the events in my life overtopped the ability of the personality running my mind to cope and my life energy created a new personality to handle it.

Now this brings up a very interesting and, as far as I know, unanswered question. Since this process is very similar to loading new programs into a computer, where did the programming come from? It is my opinion that my life force comes from outside of me and is in some way divine, so therefore I already had access to the programming. Why and how this power is available to me only at certain times is a question for another day, but it suffices to say I believe in the direst moments of my life my life force tapped into a source I cannot otherwise see or sense and transformed into a brand-new personality.