Wanda's Ramblings

Thank you 2023!

I was looking back at my 2019 posting about 2018 and I see a pattern. Each year I am relieved the last year was over like it was the years fault or something. This year is different. I would not want to go through a year like 2023 again for sure but it is all up to me.

2023 started out rough. I was on a leave of absence from my job and literally had to do nothing and still getting paid. Unfortunately, I was also very socially isolated because that same leave of absence separated me from almost everyone I knew at the time.

I was surrounded by some very good ladies at OH Dawson though and they loved on me until I could love myself again. In January I resigned from the coolest job I have ever had but it was also the job that almost consumed me. Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it they say.

For several months I struggled to find work. No one would hire me with my criminal background still. Well almost no one. I had applied at numerous rehabs and shelters. At each one I would have a terrific interview and would leave with the feeling I had the job. Then I would get the call or have to call them until someone would talk to me and be told HR said no. I had applied for food delivery and been turned down by all but Doordash and they were going back and forth with questions about my history, so it looked grim.

Finally, right before St. Patrick’s Day weekend I got the text welcoming me to Doordash! I made my car payment and back rent in one weekend. Right after that another employer called me, the San Antonio Aids Foundation, SAAF, about working in their transitional living home. I kept dashing and started part time at SAAF. Everything was turning around finally, and I realized that most of it had to do with my attitude.

So, for most of the year I was still resisting going back to a regular full time job but once I did I am as happy as I have ever been. All my bills are paid, I have a regular schedule to follow, and my life is peaceful. When I had everyone’s dream of getting paid to do nothing I was miserable. Then, when I did the one thing I did not want to do I was happy. Go figure.

So, what I learned from 2023 is that I am happiest when I am doing the right things whether I think I should be or not. Like I said, it is all up to me. If I am unhappy it is my own fault and I have to look no further than my decisions to see where the problem lies.