Blogocentric Formulations

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Andre's Fractured Resolutions
Week 1 | Prompt 1 ▼

I resolve to restore my writing habit of at least 300 words/day. What does Andre or your Muse think about that?

"Three hundred words a day?" The Muse scoffed. "That's a piece of cake. I can crank out three hundred words in, like, twenty to thirty minutes tops."

"So why aren't you already doing it?" Andre asked, putting the finishing touches on a trio of RumChata Banana Cream Pie cocktails for a pair of patrons in the corner of the Banana Bar.

"I'm just saying," The Muse replied, "That twenty to thirty minutes is, what, the time it takes to put in a quick workout at the gym? It's an easily accomplishable daily goal."

"Speaking of the gym, how's that resolution going? I know that's not specifically your purview as a Muse, but still a similar 'easy' resolution that's not being carried out by your charge, right?"

Andre carried two of the drinks to the patrons in the corner, then returned to his place behind the bar, picking up the third drink and eyeing it thirstily.

"Why did you make three drinks if there are only two customers?" The Muse asked.

"We just restructured the Banana Bar into one of those public-benefit corporation things. You know, the for profit company with a mission thingies? Like how TOMS gives away a pair of shoes for every pair sold? Or how Warby Parker gives away a pair of eyeglasses each time they sell one to a paying customer? Well, whenever a customer buys a drink here from now on, we also give one away."

"It actually looks delicious. Can I have it?"

"Sorry," Andre said, throwing back the drink. "The only member of the public the Banana Bar benefits is Andre. It's in the bylaws."

"You're a menace."

"And you're getting off-topic," Andre observed. "In fact, after all this, you didn't even meet your quota today."

"One stinking word..." The Muse grumbled.


(299 words)1

Footnotes
1  This blog entry is intentionally one word less than the minimum because it is, after all, a fractured resolution about a 300 word-per-day writing habit.