Complex Numbers

Travel Advice, Part 2

(I'm going to recycle these into a Comedy newsletter, because I'm lazy, so consider them rough drafts.)

My next bit of sage wisdom (because it's thyme) seems like it should be obvious, but with many obvious things, there's always a twist.

Be Prepared.

The twist is that whatever you prepare for, something else will go wrong.

A few years ago, I spent a week in Seattle. Being aware of the city's climate reputation, I brought an umbrella and a raincoat. Not a cloud in the sky all week.

I didn't bring that stuff to Las Vegas, because it's in a desert. Rained the whole time.

Pack for cold weather, and you get hot. Plan for heat, and it'll freeze. So you figure, "Better plan for both," which is when you get a tornado.

It's good to be prepared, anyway. But it's impossible to always be physically prepared, because the universe has a sick sense of humor. So mental preparation will have to suffice, steeling your mind to accept that when things go wrong, they will do so in the weirdest way possible, and whatever material you brought with you will be useless to the task.

This is why I don't go hiking, by the way. Well, one of the reasons. I'd have to bring along too much stuff for every eventuality: a snakebite kit to ensure a snake won't bite me; a splint to prevent me from twisting my ankle; food and a portable stove so I don't get hungry; a sleeping bag so I don't get lost (if I don't get lost, I'm not hiking long enough to need to sleep), and so on. Lots of stuff to lug around, stuff that will never get used, but if I don't bring it, I'll wish I had.

And bear spray, of course. Which will keep me from seeing any bears, but I'd fully expect to get bit by a shark.