Thoughts of a Mad Man

Great 'meditation' session

I'll call it meditation but I was mostly just doing a timed-breathing, breathing-and- smiling rest break.





And during that time I realized that it would have been possible to have spent the 20 years of work I'd suffered through dancing joyfully through it, lovingly deflecting all the customer dissatisfaction, holding boundaries neatly and solidly... I mean, there might have been sharp situations with the threatening felonies put against me, but, still maybe 1/100th the angst.





Now that I know that, the need to 'hit reset' and do it over is also at it's lowest. Because this doesn't feel like a theory or a hope.





I could handle all those challenges that shook me to my core. I mean I did. And I know I could handle them way better. And that the way I thought of was probably not even one tenth as good as I can conceive.





Oh, I'm not enlightened. Not like as a personality trait or a character trait, but as in I found a window open and got a peek.





It's enlightening, though.





Oh, and ... this should have been a blog post. And as my word, so shall it be.