Writing Blog

20230922

September 22, 2023, 2:30pm

Why has this rejection hurt me so much?

It's not my first rejection from a woman I liked - hell, my ex-wife rejected me to go off with someone else - and it's not like I'm in love with her; I just really like this woman a lot. And yet it has knocked me for six.

Have I been that lonely and socially isolated that I am seeing this as representative of the whole world? Do I crave that sort of contact so much that I am willing to make myself look like more of an idiot than normal as I admit my feelings? Or am I just that dislikable on a mental, physical and emotional level that I won't have that sort of relationship again?

Okay... venting over.

And you know what the worst of it is? It's not even inspiring any writing out of me. I have a novel so close to being finished, and I need to get it done before November so it doesn't interfere with my NaNoWriMo project (cover already designed, title decided, characters chosen, the magic worked out... no ending whatsoever) and I just spent 2 hours staring at what I wrote last night before deleting around 5000 words because what I wrote yesterday was borne of my emotions and did not suit the story or where it's headed.

This sucks.

Sorry.