My Conversion Story Journal

September 18, 2023

Have you ever eaten a fish head? Me neither! However, during dinner on Saturday night (at a table of 10) fish head was offered as a ritual to celebrate the head of the year. Apparently, there were people with a calf head on their dinner table. Cooked fish heads were bad enough. There may just be some traditions that maybe should be let go or changed a bit.

So my Saturday was busier than my Friday. The first day of Rosh Hashanah. I got up early at six like I normally do on Saturdays when I stay at my daughter's house and got dressed and ready for Shul. I am sure that my host, S, was not excited about my early morning routine. We arrived to shul quite early. I don't think she knew what to do so early in the morning with a stranger in the house.

The service was long and there weren't very many people in attendance. I moved up to someone else's seat (there was a seating chart for the regulars) because my assigned seat was further back, and no one else was around me. The amazing ladies didn't like me sitting alone, so I was asked to move up. The shofar was not blown on the first day of Rosh Hashanah because it was also Shabbat. I guess this only happens once every ten years (I overheard). The service was still beautiful and heartfelt.

I had my host telling me what was going on through the service because it was different from the other services I attended. Every service the Torah is read. During the holiday services, the readings are auctioned off. Congregation members pay quite a bit of money to have the privilege to go up and read the Torah aloud. Of course only the men go up in the Orthodox community. I know it is not a popular opinion, but I think that is the way it should be. Men and women are different and have different roles in the home, in society, and in the shul.

I read a lot about the service and understand why people said to wear comfortable shoes. Mine were cute but comfortable, at least on the first day. It wasn't cold at all, which was nice, because it wasn't hot either. The Rabbi who glows gives a little message, sermon, or whatever you want to call it during the service. I already have heard some of the stories he tells or heard stories like them, but there is always something that he says that resonates with me and touches me. There is always some nugget of wisdom that sticks out that I can't forget.

After service, I went to the Adorable Rabbi's house for lunch. His wife is a wonderful woman and so sweet. She was a great cook too. I tried a little bit of everything. I had my first gefilte fish. It was surprisingly good. As someone who has always avoided fist because of the taste, I could eat it and enjoy it. I actually liked all of the fish dishes that were made. I had my second drink of wine (in many years) at the lunch. It was a good wine that I wouldn't have a problem buying and drinking, and I don't drink. There were three courses (after the kiddush and the challah). It was a lot of food. After talking with a large group of strangers, hearing stories, watching children run around, and eating more food than I should have, I left back for my host's house a little after 5.

This was not the end of the day though. There was still dinner!

Yes, I went to a third stranger's house in two days for dinner, the fish head house. I had met the lady and her husband the week before and they are the ones that set me up with my host. They are the kind of people that you are thankful to have as friends because they bring so much joy to every relationship. I was able to help prepare help which was nice. It felt good to be useful and not just stand around or sit and watch everyone else do so much work. It wasn't awkward for a moment, which was quite unexpected. They set up candles so the lady of the house could light, then my host lit two, and then I was able to light two candles as well. If you've read any of my previous entries, you know how much the lighting of the candles means to me. This was two nights in a row that I was able to light candles. My heart was full.

There was so much food. Remember that I had eaten so much food at lunch (with a few of the same people interestingly enough). I had to try the things I have never eaten though. I had matzo ball soup for the first time. I have been wanting to make it, but haven't had the chance with my busy schedule. I had two types of kugel, apricot (my favorite) and potato. They had non-dairy ranch dressing. I was so excited to be able to have a salad with non-dairy ranch dressing. I found some the other day at Meijer and picked up a bottle, but hadn't had the chance to try it yet. Again, there was multiple courses.

However, being the first night of Rosh Hashanah, there were certain things that were necessary to do eat and say a blessing on. We had challah with honey (like I did at the Adorable Rabbi's and at dinner the night before). We had an apple dipped in honey. We had a carrot (forgot why). We had a fresh date. We had celery with raisins (to symbolize a raise in salary - get it?). We had pomegranate seeds. I think I'm forgetting something. All of these small things were before the meal and all of them had meaning and a brucha (blessing). Of course there was the fish heads to represent the head of the year (not the tail). I passed on that (really gross!). Fish heads aside, all of the food was amazing. And the desert was amazing too. We ate a starfruit before desert because we needed to eat a fruit that we had not eaten in a long time. I'm too tired to remember why, but it was important.

There were different tribes of Jews at the table so some traditions differed. Sephardic Jews have different customs that Ashkenazi Jews. Listening to the discussions was a learning experience. There were long discussions on traditions and reasoning, but what I love about it is that it was all friendly and accepting of each other's differences. Discussions were about learning about each other and learning about each other's differences. It was always friendly. Being a teacher, I can compare it to two teachers who teach the same lesson and discuss how they teach the same material differently. Neither is wrong, just different and both accepted.

I won't get into the comparison between the amazing people sitting at the table and those that I have eaten with at church. There is no comparison. If you were to define yourself with the company you keep and people you surround yourself with, I would choose every person at that table Saturday night without question. They may all live a bit differently and have a few different traditions, but when it came time to pray or sing to G-d, they were the same and had the same enthusiasm. They have the same morals and beliefs. You certainly can't say that with Christianity or any other religion for that matter. Every moment I spent with them made me wish I never had to leave.

I did finally leave the house with my host and went back to my host's house well after midnight. They were still there eating and talking. I believe it was after 1:30 am before I climbed into bed.

It was a long, amazing and unforgettable night. This is not the end. There's still day two of Rosh Hashanah.