Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

Making Decisions on the Run

I did my first day volunteering for Meals on Wheels on Friday...and I hated it. The guy training me stunk of cigarettes and BO, and I had to sit in a car with him for two hours. And to make matters worse, on two occasions he berated me for unclipping my seatbelt before the vehicle had come to a full stop. It was all I could do not to yell back at him, but I thought it best to bite my tongue, get the morning over with and get to my psyche appointment without the angst.

It was my third psyche appointment with two counsellors each time. I used to think it was two counsellors, and not one, for safety reasons (and I'm still not convinced it isn't), but they insist it isn't. At each of the three appointments so far, there have been different people taking the session. I like consistency, but apparently, for the last three weeks, there have been people away sick, and that's why they have been different each time.

And to top it all off, the last session didn't go well. Upon reflection, perhaps the experience with the Meals on Wheels driver/trainer put me in a negative frame of mind, but in any case, I wasn't happy once the session got underway. One of the counsellors was trying her hardest to facilitate, but was obviously inexperienced and was failing badly. The other looked bored and after the morning I had, on the way home, I came to a decision.

I have to be up at 6:00 am for Meals on Wheels, and I am no longer a crack-of-dawn kind of guy. So the decision to quit Meals on Wheels came easy. I have plenty to do around the house that will keep me occupied anyway, and they seem to have enough people on their books. And, as far as the psyche/counselling sessions go, I have given it three weeks, and I don't think it's helping me. I still plan on attending Tuesday group meetings, and this is where I feel most at home.

I admit I have stuff I could work on as far as my mental health is concerned, but I am not acting up right now, and still have a lot to do winding up Mom's estate. I figure that trying to take on too much, along with the fact the two-on-one sessions are not getting me anywhere, justifies dropping them. Perhaps at a later date, when I am feeling less overwhelmed, I will seek a psychologist to work on things proactively and hopefully, before any underlying issues become a problem.

I know one thing...it has been a long time since I had a holiday and relaxed poolside with a pina colada in hand. I think that exploring the countryside in a foreign land, instead of stressing about all the things I am doing right now, will be the best therapy.

I know quitting things may sound like a cop-out, but I am making the best decisions I can whilst on the run. There is no doubt the most important choice I make every day, is not to use meth...and so far, it's working out very well for me.