Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

The Slippery Slope To Relapse

Each day I feel better than the day before. Each day my mindset improves. I am still hurting, emotionally and physically, but it's mainly my mental state that concerns me. Never having suffered from depression in the past, it's hard to know exactly what it is, but I believe that I may be affected in some small way by this insidious condition.

I will give myself more time to recover before speaking to my doctor about it. In my mind, having to take medication would be a huge setback. I understand that meds have helped so many, and I mean no disrespect to those who have to go down that path. I have always had a phobia of pharmaceuticals and for me, having to take antidepressants would be an absolute last resort.

I'm back exercising every day, and this will once again be the key to my future health and happiness. I'll start doing weights again later in the week and try to shake these horrible feelings of dread and darkness that seem to come and go during the course of the day. My determination is still there to rid my life of meth, and there are some positives that have come from this latest fall.

Normally I would be high right now and for months to come after a three-month break from meth has been shattered. But in this instance, I have ninety days clean, followed by a few days of use, and now, hopefully, another ninety and beyond being drug-free. Another positive is the scare I received. This episode has taken a lot out of me, and if I can retain some of this fear going forward, should help next time I start slipping down that slope to relapse.