Complex Numbers

If You Cheese

I do like a "you're wrong about that" article... if the article itself isn't wrong.

    Almost everything you know about cheese is wrong  
Shredded cheese doesn’t melt as well and other fascinating facts about fromage.

Forcing French for funny fails.

A bag of pre-shredded cheese from the supermarket can really come in handy if you’re in a hurry and looking for a quick fix of salt and fat.

And you're not starting out stellar, here: cheese contains those things, but its purpose is protein. And, of course, flavor.

Unfortunately, many pre-shredded cheeses also come with a dose of cellulose, which is essentially wood pulp.

It's a nature-derived preservative. Would you prefer an "artificial" preservative?

The solution then is to grate the cheese fresh off the block or skip the grating process completely, says Mary Rizzo, owner of The Cheese Traveler shop in Albany, New York.

I mean, sure. But that's work. Not just the shredding part, but the cleanup afterwards. The convenience of pre-shredded cheese is enticing. If you banned shredded cheese, you'd Make America Grate Again.

Here are some other common fixes (or upgrades) you can make to your cheese game...

Shredded cheese snobbery is right up there with pre-chopped garlic snobbery, in my book. I admit it's better, but it's also often too much like work. Some of these other items, though...

Venture beyond processed cheese

Yeah, I've ragged on this in here before. Unfortunately, lots of people have come to believe that Kraft Singles is what cheese is "supposed" to taste like, or perhaps Velveeta, and there is no fixing that attitude.

Don’t always use air-tight plastic for storage

I have to agree with this one, too, but again, you have to balance the benefits with the extra work involved.

Learn why certain cheeses are crunchy

Because they're coated with nuts? Okay, no, the article explains this as a natural product of cheese aging. Which, admittedly, I didn't know the details of. So I learned something, too.

Sample real American cheese

I'm all for local artisanal food (I am, after all, a craft beer and local wine snob), but let's not limit ourselves to America, even if we live in the US. It is good to know that, according to this article, local cheese is finally happening in the US; I hadn't heard much about it.

Choose your pairings wisely

This is the kind of thing that can only come with experience, and perhaps someone else to act as Cheddi Master. Everyone's taste is different, even discounting the wrecked palate that leads some people to prefer process "cheese," and what works for me might not work for you.

But in the end, this is work that is worth it, to me: finding out which cheese pairs best with which wine or beer, or with other foods. It only improves one's enjoyment of life, and isn't that the whole point?