Everyday Canvas

Change

Prompt: Do you adjust well to change?

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No, I don't adjust well to change, any change. Too much change upsets me. I, however, understand that life is a dynamic journey with its challenges, opportunities and new situations popping up all the time, so I push myself to adjust.

Even when change is expected, I am really upset inside; although on the outside looking at me, you'd think how easily I adjust. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am not a complainer and I don't like to upset people, and that's why I look calm on the surface.

Case in point, I am writing this on my new laptop. You'd probably say, "Oh, how nice, she's got a new toy!" Yes, it's new, but I was used to my old Toshiba with its larger screen and slow-poke motion. But after 8 years of dealing with it, it started getting too many blue screens, which means its CPU is dying, so I got this one, but didn't start working with it immediately. It waited for two months in the closet for me to make up my mind. Finally, yesterday, other two more consecutive blue screens on the Toshiba led to this HP to be put into action, which wasn't an easy deal, either. Now, I'm trying to adjust to this new HP with its Windows 11 and quick and weird ways,

The difficulty in getting oneself into a new situation, I guess, lies in the uncertainty and unpredictability of the new situation with one's comfort zone disrupted and routines altered. This can be mentally taxing, if not also physically, as well.

Then, you might think I am grieving over the old setup, and you'd be right. I do feel a sense of loss, and as much as I am embarrassed to say, fear of failure, or rather the possibility of it. But it isn't in my hands; Toshiba is not making computers anymore. If I could find the replica of my same old computer, I'd certainly buy it.

I guess, an adaptation period is in the works now, and maybe I'll grow and learn with this fresh start and develop resilience. And even if I am not sure of it yet, maybe new opportunities will surface with the improved circumstances of my laptop use.

As of now, as I type on the new machine, I am trying to accept this change and I'm pushing myself to attain a more positive attitude. Then, maybe with time, I'll adjust to everything. Right now, I'm trying to finish typing this entry and I recognize that it took less time to do it, however unfamiliar the keyboard is.

Then, I also tell myself that in my long life, I have weathered many a change, and eventually and with much difficulty, I ended up adjusting well enough to each one of them. My hope is, if past is any indication that the future will follow in its steps, I may even end up loving this silly HP.


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