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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1052701-Choose-Life
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Biographical · #2258138
This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters.
#1052701 added July 17, 2023 at 2:55am
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Choose Life
A blog post (edited) from the 21st of September 2021...which just happened to be my 57th birthday.

I remember when my brother, who is an alcoholic, stopped drinking sixteen years ago. No one was more relieved than I was because he wasn't a nice drunk and growing up with him was a nightmare if/when he was under the influence.

He counted the days, weeks and years (he still does) since his last drink. I'm wondering if this helps, or if it is just a badge of honour. AA has a twelve-step recovery program and this may have something to do with it.

Sure, he doesn't drink now, but he still smokes cigarettes, and has done since he was around twelve years old. One day, I asked him about his sobriety. I told him that I was proud of him for quitting alcohol because I imagine that is not an easy thing to do. But my question to him was, how can he tell people he is clean and sober, when in fact, he is addicted to nicotine?

He didn't react well to my question and has rarely spoken to me since. At the time, he said that alcohol changes a person's behaviour when they are under the influence, whereas he can have a ciggie and remain perfectly normal.

So, I said to him, "Give me your pack of cigarettes and let's see if your behaviour changes in the coming hours and days."

To me, there is very little difference between the substances people choose to use/abuse. If a person is addicted to heroin, eventually they need the drug in order to function...to remain normal. Most drugs follow along similar lines and once tolerance overtakes the high, all that remains is normality and in my case, you wouldn't know I was high unless I wanted you to know.

Of course, my brother didn't participate in the experiment (as I knew he wouldn't), but it begs the question...what exactly is sobriety?

In many cases, addicts will simply substitute one substance for another and whilst I am in no position to criticise anyone for their personal choices, jumping from drug to drug (unless it is monitored by health care professionals, such as in the case of a methadone program), is something I find difficult to get on board with.

Strangely enough, another reason (justification) my brother used to continue poisoning his body with the nine thousand or so chemicals contained in every cigarette, was because he had quit drinking, and smoking was his reward, and no one was going to take that away from him...fair enough I suppose. We all have our own outcomes, and if a person doesn't want to do something, they simply won't do it.

I thought about my own abuse of meth and the excuse my brother used to continue to smoke when it dawned on me that I have been doing the exact same thing for years. My excuse was that I don't drink alcohol, smoke pot, use pharmaceuticals or heroin...blah blah blah...so, that justified my use of meth. Thinking...it was all I had left to get by on and I'll be damned if I was going to give up the one thing that brought a little joy and comfort to my life...classic denial.

It's hard to see things when they happen right under your own nose, yet we see other's problems because for one, it's easier to see them from a distance, and, it's much easier to point out someone else's faults and flaws, than it is to face up to our own.

Political correctness will likely see the term 'sober' gone, replaced by some other acronym, which I don't mind. I mean, what is it but a word?

I choose not to use any chemical that causes dependence or changes me in a way that is not healthy or positive for life. And in doing so, I don't just choose life, I choose a better life.

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