The Bard's Hall Blog Entries June 2023

I'm Not Tempted I'm Annoyed

         Annoying, ridiculous, repetitive ads litter my MSN Home/News page. Does someone somewhere hidden behind a glowing computer screen really believe I'll succumb to this mindless drivel and spontaneously purchase at least one of the suggestions? Why are ads so prevalent, so-in-my-face? Not once have I anticipated encountering a commercial online. Are they or could they be the highlight of other computer browsers? Does anyone think wow, now that's a great and intriguing ad, so I must succumb to its siren call? Ooo, that is so what I'm looking for, I must have it now.

         Why would I be remotely interested in purchasing air bags for a Mercedes? If I owned and drove such a vehicle I'd take it to an actual stone and mortar service shop. Also if my high end car required new air bags that would mean it had been in an accident/collision and deemed unfit for the road.

         Do I care that an actress supposedly lost weight? Big whoop. Why share that with me?

         Enough of the endless, persistent credit card testimonials. I am not tempted to acquire debt. Capital One's tagline: Turn 'No' Into 'Know'. It's the other way 'round, I know it's a no.

         How could I possibly be enticed to purchase a batting cage? Really? Just what every home needs. Although hold on, it may serve a purpose, a therapeutic purpose. Need to settle a family dispute or blow off some steam? Step into the batting cage and hit a pitched ball. Go ahead and crack one. Feel better?

         I find so many of the testimonials to be a la gossip rag National Enquire'ish nonsense. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back. How to Remove A Hanging Belly. How to Look Amazing As An Older Woman. 8 Hard Truths About Relationships. Here's What Your Fingers say About Your Personality. The Effect Of Putting Toothpaste On Your Nails Could Surprise You. If You Got Any Of These 25 Items You Could Be Rich. This Is Why You Shouldn't Throw Out Orange Peel. She Pricks a Needle Into a Banana and This Is What Happens.

         Ack! The non-stop ads re video games are relentless. This one claims it is the best game with the best life-like optics. This one is for those 40 and over who own a computer. You must try this one. Why haven't you downloaded this game? This game voted the most played. Well, I'm not about to get played, coerced, intimidated, whatever.

         Just how many MSN News aficionados scroll through headlines and appreciate these pop ups? Reading about a recent foreign government coup might persuade an astute, discerning person to buy a Victorian playhouse kit. Sure, anything's possible, right? While they are at it they may decide to acquire an Am/FM/WB antenna from Monster Tower. That playhouse will be cutting edge and so, why not consider an outdoor pizza oven and gutter protection for it. You gotta protect that investment. Wait, that is not all. Imagine a $47 monocular telescope protruding from one of those pre-fab walls. You might see news as it happens.

         Hold on! As I'm typing I'm pondering. The suspense has been building and now I'm curious. What does happen when she pricks a banana with a needle? Is someone suggesting that banana possess sentient feelings? Did the banana scream? Wait, did the pin bend, or snap? She created a goopey mess? Why do this in the first place and then share?

         I've made efforts to eradicate the ads. If I take the time to click the upper corner of one I am able to click on 'REPORT THIS AD.' I am then redirected to multiple reporting options. Seen this ad multiple times. Ad was inappropriate. Not interested in this ad. Misleading ad or spam. Sigh, an all of the above option does not exist.

         My efforts have so far proven futile. The ads are not dissuaded. Alas, I am doomed to pretend I do not see them lurking, skulking, smirking. Excuse me while I once again decline the offer of a Star Wars Mandalorian Swarovski crystal Yoda figurine. I will admit the plug re how to fix bad posture rings true. Crouching over my keyboard cursing ads takes a physical toll.(703 words)